I'm still missing Willow so very much....but....

[Tina B and crew]

...today I went to the vet's office to pick up Willow's paw print that they had done in clay for me. I had been putting this off because I couldn't face being there since it was the last place I held Willow in my arms. So, I manage to get out of the car and walk in without shedding tears. Had a little knot in my stomach but that is normal. Anyway, I asked girl at the front desk if they had a paw print impression for me and she said she'd check. While she was looking I took a peek into the "adoption room," which is a glassed in room where they keep any adoptees. My heart about leap out of my throat when one, and only one, of the six cats looked toward me with these big green eyes. It was a dilute torbie and she looked so close to Willow I swear I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! So I asked the girl "please don't tell me you have a dilute back there?" to which she replied "yes! and she has a kitten too!" to which I said "if you tell me her kitten is an orange tabby I'm going to faint right here" (because Willow's kitten was an orange tabby. "Actually her kitten is the same coloring as her" the girl replied. So, naturally I wanted to go in and see her.

After sanitizing I opened the sliding glass door and as soon as I do she (and she was the only one of the 6 cats in there) jumped down and came to greet me. I was floored! Other than not having a notch in her ear and a bobbed curly tail she was nearly Willow's twin! And she was so sweet, let me pick her up, let me cuddle her. What a precious little soul she is.

Now, the question is..would it be a mistake to adopt her? Let me say first off that I am NOT trying to replace Willow because quite frankly I can never, ever, ever replace her. She was such a unique soul, and my heart kitty...and I know that God broke the mold when she was created. But, Chunk really could use a companion, and I am aching for a she-cat in the house. Luckily her kitten is far beyond the age of weaning and separation. I would feel bad adopting her without her baby, but we really can't take on two cats.

The story behind how she got there? Someone dropped them off at the vets office in a box...unbelievable! And it makes me so sad....but she's well taken care of now at least and will be until she finds a forever home. The question is, should that home be ours?

[momPaws]

YES! Do what your heart is telling you. Maybe it is meant to be...she is beautiful and she is drawn to you.

[Tina B and crew]

Someone posted this for me on another site....the bolded words really got me, because it is so true...and I sense Willow is trying to tell me that. Willow always cared about all the other cats we fostered, and even the other permanent companions of ours who didn't reciprocate with that caring. I think Willow would really like this little girl....


Your Pets In Heaven

by Ken D. Conover

To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you.
For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.
For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.

I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each others lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.

Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures.
I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.

We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever.
You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique.
Don't hold the love that you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.

Now I can't stop crying

[momPaws]

OH, Tina, I am so sorry....I know how hard it is. When my dear Honey died after 15 years I cried many many tears. I know you have to cry as many tears as it takes. She was such a part of my life and even my great years with my daughter...then it was all gone.

I thought I could never get another pet. You're right that they can't be replaced. But, like you, I believe we can be sent another special one to love.

You may think I'm crazy...but somehow, someway my dear little cat Angel (the angel my dog Honey sent to me) is part of Honey. I know it doesn't make sense time wise, but Angel mimics Honey in so many ways. But honestly that is not the importance she has in my life cause I love her for herself.

I know the bittersweet memories of Willow will turn to sweet in time....(((((hugs for you, Tina)))))

[Traci]

A similar poem starts with It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But the author is different from whom you quoted, I think.

I can't believe how strikingly familiar the kitty looks like Willow. I'm also not surprised.

No one can make the decision, but you, Tina. Think about it, and your answer will come to you. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

If you do decide to adopt her, please have your vet test, vaccinate etc before introducing her to Chunk, k?

[Tina B and crew]

If you do decide to adopt her, please have your vet test, vaccinate etc before introducing her to Chunk, k?

Traci...that's a given! I believe they do that anyway.

We are seriously considering it. I've shed more tears, talked to Willow, written her letters, talked to my counselor, and sought the advice of friends and all seem to be leading me in the direction of giving this little girl a chance. Of course Willow will always be "my girl" forever, but when I find myself contemplating names, I think that's a sign.

mompaws...that's a sweet story about Honey and Angel. I kind of feel like that about this girl and Willow. As I watched her yesterday I noticed she did something that Willow always did as well. Willow would obsessively scratch in the litter after she used the box and then go back several times once she was out to scratch some more. Then she would go to the other cat box and scratch as if the Chunk didn't do a good enough job covering his business. This little girl did the same thing. I know that isn't an unusual behavior because Cricket does it as well. But it just seemed funny to me.

I'll let you all know what I decide. I bought scrapbooking stuff to start working on Willow's scrapbook. I'm still sleeping with her fuzzy blanket and boogie mat. I still cry many times during the day. But I think the healing process is working, slowly but surely. I'd still give the world to have my little Oosta back

[k9Karen]

If you're taking votes- I say DO IT!!! The only way to heal a hole in the heart is with love. Giving your love to this new kitty can only be a good thing. The heart always has room to love again.

[momPaws]

Yes, Karen!

[Tina B and crew]

As of this afternoon she has a "possibly adopted" sign on her cage and I filled out the adoption contract.

Not sure when we will pick her up, I wanted hubby to meet her first. We might decide to do so tomorrow, but might wait until next week since I'll be out of town Sunday night into Monday.

I really feel like this is honoring Willow....and her spirit is behind it. I sure to miss my girl though

[Marty]

Yay! I haven't commented through all of this, but I was rooting for you to adopt this kitty! It just seemed right, and your heart was leaning that way. Willow will be content knowing that you have given another kitty a home to call her own!