I feel so terribly responsible
I feel so terribly responsible
Bubba is dead...my husband came home from work this afternoon and Ghost and Sammie greeted him at the door...Bubba was not there...my husband called for him....he did not come...my husband came into the living room and found Bubba laying on the floor...he got a bag of cheetos off of the table...he got his head stuck in the bag....my husband tried...but he was already long gone and stiff and cold...
If I had not wanted Cheetos so badly...they would not have been here...the bag would not have been here...and Bubba would still be here....
We buried him out back....and even then I sat on the ground beside him pounding his chest and checking his eyes and mouth...but he was stiff...and cold...I knew I could not...but I felt sooo badly...
And Ghost and Sammie and the cats were all here to witness it...to see and hear...
I went back to work today...my first day back since October...and THIS has to happen...if I had been home...it would have never happened...
I just hope he is happy now...and is running and bouncing all over the place...has found the rest of our family pack and is getting to know them all...but dammit...he should still be here with this pack!!
If I had not wanted Cheetos so badly...they would not have been here...the bag would not have been here...and Bubba would still be here....
We buried him out back....and even then I sat on the ground beside him pounding his chest and checking his eyes and mouth...but he was stiff...and cold...I knew I could not...but I felt sooo badly...
And Ghost and Sammie and the cats were all here to witness it...to see and hear...
I went back to work today...my first day back since October...and THIS has to happen...if I had been home...it would have never happened...
I just hope he is happy now...and is running and bouncing all over the place...has found the rest of our family pack and is getting to know them all...but dammit...he should still be here with this pack!!
- slvrwhispr
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Re: I feel so terribly responsible
Tambrey... that is what we call a FREAK accident. The food was off the floor, on the table. He had to get up there (with stumpy little legs), get the bag down, then somehow... honestly, I don't even know how he got his head STUCK to the point he couldn't breathe. If it's hard to imagine how, then it's not something you could have reasonably foreseen. Please, please forgive yourself. I KNOW you believe everything has a reason and a purpose. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this sudden loss, but don't blame yourself. I know you're going to anyway, but I will keep reminding you it's NOT your fault. I don't give a hoot what reasoning you want to throw at me. Just know that, even if it was for a short time, you gave Bubba a home filled with love and companionship, and he was blessed to be yours. Nothing else matters in the end.
Re: I feel so terribly responsible
Slvr, unfortunately, this is a common occurrance, bags and pets don't mix. Treat any bag (and any other food container, box, like a cracker box, etc) as you would if you had a small child in the home (there's a reason these things contain the warning "keep out of reach to children and pets"). I don't think it's necessary to explain how it happens, it just does.
I'm so sorry, Tambrey. Safe and gentle journey, sweet sweet Bubba....
((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry, Tambrey. Safe and gentle journey, sweet sweet Bubba....
((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
..........Traci
Re: I feel so terribly responsible
any other time, a cheetos bag would rip open and scatter them all over the floor...so why not this bag this time?
I have cried til I think I can cry no more...my eyes are dry...my throat hurts....but then...it starts all over again...
It is always hard when a furkid dies...but usually I have some sort of prep time...warning...they have been sick...or old...but this...so unexpected...just like losing anyone else in an accident...the hut just seems worse...especially knowing that I could have and should have prevented it...
I will never be able to eat cheetos again...when we came into the house after burying him...the bag was still on the living room floor where my husband left it when he went to Bubba...
I have cried til I think I can cry no more...my eyes are dry...my throat hurts....but then...it starts all over again...
It is always hard when a furkid dies...but usually I have some sort of prep time...warning...they have been sick...or old...but this...so unexpected...just like losing anyone else in an accident...the hut just seems worse...especially knowing that I could have and should have prevented it...
I will never be able to eat cheetos again...when we came into the house after burying him...the bag was still on the living room floor where my husband left it when he went to Bubba...
Re: I feel so terribly responsible
I am so sorry, Tambrey. Accidents happen to the best of us....
Run free and happy, Bubba...
Run free and happy, Bubba...
I am so sorry Tambrey and I really do know exactly how you feel. If I had realized Angel had gone back outside she never would have drowned in our pool. I can't forgive myself, even now, several years later, and I miss her terribly. I hope you have better luck accepting that this is an accident you never could have anticipated.
And I really hope your Bubba and my Angel find each other at The Bridge and can laugh about how stupid their people were.
And I really hope your Bubba and my Angel find each other at The Bridge and can laugh about how stupid their people were.
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." ~ Josh Billings.
Re: I feel so terribly responsible
Thanks....I was okay at work today, but driving home tonight I started to cry all over again, knowing he would not be there pawing at the door to get outside as soon as we came home...or to sit by the water dish and guard it...or may on the floor by my chair and let Sammie crawl and growl all over him then run charging through the house with Ghost...he brought so much life to this house in the short time he was with us...
I know it will get easier with time...but not that much...because it could have been prevented
k9Karen...it is a terrible feeling to know that it could have been prevented....of only....
I know it will get easier with time...but not that much...because it could have been prevented
k9Karen...it is a terrible feeling to know that it could have been prevented....of only....
There are many times in my life when, with 20-20 hindsight I've wished I'd chosen a different path, but losing Angel is truly the only time I'd give anythng for a do-over. The "what ifs" and "if onlies" can kill us if we're not careful. Accidents happen, and I know in my head that what happened to her was an accident, but I can't help feeling it was my responsibility to keep her safe. My only hope is that she knew how much I loved her and that she didn't suffer too long.
Tambrey, please know that what happened to Bubba was a terrible accident. You didn't plan it and you couldn't have anticipated it. Please forgive yourself.
Tambrey, please know that what happened to Bubba was a terrible accident. You didn't plan it and you couldn't have anticipated it. Please forgive yourself.
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." ~ Josh Billings.
- Tina B and crew
- Posts: 2536
- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2003 9:48 am
- Location: Virginia
Re: I feel so terribly responsible
Tambrey...I am a little late but I am so sorry to hear this. ((((Hugs)))) don't what if yourself too much...it doesn't help.
Tina B and "what a crew!"
How we behave towards cats here below determines our status in heaven ~Robert A. Heinlein
How we behave towards cats here below determines our status in heaven ~Robert A. Heinlein