I had to bury one of my best friends the other day and I don't even really know why. I saved him from our local humane society about 5 years ago and the little guy has been the a huge part of my life ever since. I really could not afford to have an autopsy done on him but the vet seems to think he had some sort of seizure or annuerism. He went from playing and being happy one moment to being gone the next. He was playing in the living room and out of nowhere he dropped to his side, gasped for air a few times and was gone within 30 seconds I really wish I could explain what happened to him, but like I said whatever it was I could not have done nothing to change the outcome. My GF and I have been a complete mess since it happened but I think my dog Cali has been the worst because she was his little "sister". She has done nothing but pace the house looking for him since he was buried. I really wish I could explain things but we really never did know how old he was since he was a rescue.. I am just happy that he did not suffer and went quick. I miss the little guy like crazy and it has been hard on all of us. I am sorry if this is the incorrect forum for this, but I really just needed to post it up and get it off my chest. The past few days have been really hard to cope with. Baxter passed away at around 7pm on 06/22/11 and he will never be forgotten. We love and miss you little guy
Mike .. I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember back to your first posts about Baxter.
Don't be too hard on yourself for not having an autopsy. I had one done when my six year old healthy Simon passed and it was inconclusive. The vet felt strongly that it was a fatal arrhythmia (even though he had no known cardiac problems) which isn't structural and wouldn't have shown in an autopsy. He went much like Baxter, playing and sitting up one moment, to collapsing and gone the next.
I hope you find peace and comfort in knowing Baxter knew he was loved and you gave him a wonderful life.
Oh Mike...this just breaks my heart. I am so sorry to hear about Baxter. It seems so unfair to lose one so unexpectedly like that. Not long after Cleo lost her Simon I lost my precious Willow in a similar manner while she was sleeping. No explanation, no chance to do anything to help her. I too did not do a necropsy because I felt it would not give me closure. Vet's best guess was, like Cleo, an arrhythmia or stroke. Please do not be hard on yourself. You gave Baxter 5 years of comfort and love. No words will help now, I know...but hang in there. Safe journey Baxter...
Tina B and "what a crew!"
How we behave towards cats here below determines our status in heaven ~Robert A. Heinlein
Mike and GF, my heart is breaking into a million pieces for you, I can't find the words to say how awful and sad I feel for you.
You shared so much of Baxter with us, his beauty, his antics, his bond with you and Cali, and I know that you were the best dad he could ever have hoped for. I hope you can find peace in your hearts that Baxter was a precious gift given you and he chose YOU to love and care so much for him.
It is so difficult to lose our babies so fast and so young, please do not question the what-ifs, you took excellent care of Baxter, and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we are not meant to understand why they are taken from us too soon. I believe that what matters most is that he entered your life, he shaped you, and you shared a most precious bond.
He will never leave you, Mike, he is never far away, cherish the memories in your heart, that bond can never ever be broken. Know that we love and miss him too and you are not alone.
Safe and gentle journey, sweet sweet Baxter, we miss you so much! (((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Thank you for all the kind words everyone. It was unbearable at first but is it is getting a little easier to deal with as the days go on. We are finally able to look at his pictures that we have hung around the house without tearing up. Poor Cali has done nothing but pace the house looking for her big brother since it happened. Every time a closet is opened she runs between your legs to peek in and see if he is in there sleeping. I think I am going to try and check out the humane society this weekend to look into possibly saving another soul. I never thought I would be able to do it after going through all this, but I think it is going to be the best thing for all of us to have another furball around. Thanks again everyone for the kind thoughts!
Mike, I'm glad to hear you're doing a little better. It is so hard, and sometimes unbearable, but the pain diminishes in time.
Baxter will be watching over you and your new little one, and although you could never replace him, I think he would be happy you have chosen to take another little one into your heart and home. ((((((HUGS)))))))
Mike, I just have to share my story with you, maybe it will help...shortly after Willow left, I mean within 3 weeks or so, I went to my vet's office to pick up the imprint of her paw they had made for me. I had avoided going for the first two weeks because it was the last place I was able to hold her physical presence before she was cremated. At any rate, I finally was driving by one day and thought I'd go pick up the paw print. While I was waiting for one of the staff to go get it for me I just happened to peek into the "adoption room" that they have set up (It's a big roomy room with a sliding glass door into it, windows to look outside and lots of kitty condos etc) and lo and behold what do I see? I cat that could have been Willow's twin was the ONLY cat of the about half a dozen in there that looked up at me. When I opened to door to go in, she was the only one that jumped down from her perch and came over to me, immediately giving me a pressie. I had told myself after I lost Willow that I would not adopt again for a long time. We already had one cat, Chunk, and he'd just have to deal with being an only cat. But seeing this cat totally changed my mind. I truly believe that Willow played a role in this, that her paw gently nudged me to look. Lucy now resides happily in our home and I have never regretted adopting so soon after the loss of Willow. My heart still aches for Willow, and it always will. She was my heart kitty, she can never ever be replaced. But Lucy has brought me smiles when I thought I would never smile again. On occasion I get a glimpse of Willow in Lucy...and I am sure that when Lucy tackles Chunk to the ground I am sure Willow is whispering in her ear "you go girl!" So if it strikes you to go look, please do...Baxter will be with you the entire time, and you will know...you just will. (((hugs)))
Tina B and "what a crew!"
How we behave towards cats here below determines our status in heaven ~Robert A. Heinlein
Mike, I too thought I could never have another pet after my 15 yr old border collie passed. I felt guity, but even after just a few weeks I was kinda looking at kittens... and then I saw Angel (name she came with)... 7 yr. old tuxedo cat, partially blind.. and she crawled in my arms and that was it. Even today I believe that my dear dog, Honey, sent me an Angel to love.
The first week...I woke up one a.m. with that pain of loss and looked over and there little Angel was just sitting there looking at me... thank God I got her.
So glad to hear that you are considering another one. It does help. If & when..pls post pics!
I really wish I could explain what happened to him, but like I said whatever it was I could not have done nothing to change the outcome. My GF and I have been a complete mess since it happened but I think my dog Cali has been the worst because she was his little "sister". She has done nothing but pace the house looking for him since he was buried. I really wish I could explain things but we really never did know how old he was since he was a rescue.. I am just happy that he did not suffer and went quick. I miss the little guy like crazy and it has been hard on all of us. I am sorry if this is the incorrect forum for this, but I really just needed to post it up and get it off my chest. The past few days have been really hard to cope with. Baxter passed away at around 7pm on 06/22/11 and he will never be forgotten. We love and miss you little guy 
Thanks again everyone for the kind thoughts!