Hello! I'm new here but am hoping someone can help- I'm at my witts end. I've read the kitty introduction sticky thread, but it didn't apply, sadly.
Here's the scoop, in a nutshell:
July 2008- Me and my 2 females moved in with Mister and his two females.
The cats' stats:
Mine: Grey is 10 years old, 10lbs, and declawed. Sisi 7lbs, 6yrs old, clawed.
His: Calilco 14lbs, 6 years old, clawed. Foo: 14lbs, 6 years old, clawed
February: Moved ourselves and four girls into a big house with lots of room to roam. Vet came and checked everyone out in March and they've all received clean bills of health.
March- Present
Sisi, Calico and Foo get along great since moving into the new space. They each tend to spaz out from time to time (hiss, swat, chase)- but the three of them don't seem to take it personally at all- they just walk off as if offended or respond playfully.
Grey is still NOT blending at all. She was being picked on by Calico and Foo initially- but now she's taken on suicide missions and is chasing and attacking them. I say suicide missions because they're younger, stronger, larger and meaner than she is. This weekend there was a whole blow out which ended in Grey being bloodied.
I don't know what to do anymore. Help please!
Four cats- 10 months - still a mess
Re: Four cats- 10 months - still a mess
Can I ask how they got along from July 2008 to March of this year? Seems like there might be something about the relocation that might be playing a big part in things.
Since she's the oldest, she may have lost her "alpha-female" role, with the addition of the two new females. With cats, just as with dogs, they establish their own heirarchy, and Grey might have been more submissive rather than agressive when establishing her role in the heirarchy. Three of the cats are all the same age, and I assume maybe even around the same size and same energy level, etc. This isn't helping Grey's status in the heirarchy so to speak.
Do you have designated areas for each of them to have their favorite spaces, like safe havens? Places where they can sleep individually or together? Are their feeding areas seperated or together? Does one or more cats intimidate Grey when she is eating or using the litterbox, or do they vie for your attention when Grey is getting your attention?
You might have to designate areas if you haven't already. Watch Grey closely and determine what areas are her favorite, when she is most active, where she is most comfortable and happy. Divert the attentions of the other cats to something else, like their favorite toys or playtime session, but spend equal time with Grey alone or with just one other cat, to start.
When I adopted my youngest just recently, I was rather worried due to her tiny size and the number of females in the home. I allowed her total access of one room by herself (with litterbox in the adjoining bathroom, food and water, etc, play area and kitty tower) and only allowed one other cat into the room with her at a time. When that turned out well, I allowed a different cat into the room, and so on and so on. Until each cat was comfortable enough with the other. Then, I allowed more than one, two, three and so on. I played it slow (about 3 weeks), to be sure that once she was in the other areas in the home, she would be fine with the rest of the cats and that they could share the total environment without incident. She now considers that room and adjoining room her safe haven if/when she needs it, yet she allows any number of the females in the same room with her and actually likes her own time in there. She as well as the others are all well-adjusted now, and don't have intimidation issues.
Maybe start over, not so much with "introductions" per se, but establishing a special room just for Grey. Each day, allow one cat into the room with her, and then on the next day, a different cat. You get the idea.
Sometimes, they do act like a pack, usually reserved for dogs in that regard. But, cats will gang up on another if they "sense" he/she is not wanting to be social or is scared, or withdrawn, etc.
Most importantly, relocation is a stressful event for cats, they cannot handle stress like humans can, and sometimes, that stress can rest for months and re-manifest later on, causing significant health problems (like anorexia, which leads to serious liver disease and other health problems). Do everything you can to keep the environment as harmonious as possible and seperate the cats if necessary. Establish seperate feeding stations, sleeping areas, etc, so they understand and recognize certain "boundaries".
Maybe another vet check for Grey is in order. Not that 10 years of age is old in any way, but she is older than the other three and may not be tolerating the stress well, she could be developing a hidden illness and you want to prevent that by getting her checked and bloodwork done for her.
Since she's the oldest, she may have lost her "alpha-female" role, with the addition of the two new females. With cats, just as with dogs, they establish their own heirarchy, and Grey might have been more submissive rather than agressive when establishing her role in the heirarchy. Three of the cats are all the same age, and I assume maybe even around the same size and same energy level, etc. This isn't helping Grey's status in the heirarchy so to speak.
Do you have designated areas for each of them to have their favorite spaces, like safe havens? Places where they can sleep individually or together? Are their feeding areas seperated or together? Does one or more cats intimidate Grey when she is eating or using the litterbox, or do they vie for your attention when Grey is getting your attention?
You might have to designate areas if you haven't already. Watch Grey closely and determine what areas are her favorite, when she is most active, where she is most comfortable and happy. Divert the attentions of the other cats to something else, like their favorite toys or playtime session, but spend equal time with Grey alone or with just one other cat, to start.
When I adopted my youngest just recently, I was rather worried due to her tiny size and the number of females in the home. I allowed her total access of one room by herself (with litterbox in the adjoining bathroom, food and water, etc, play area and kitty tower) and only allowed one other cat into the room with her at a time. When that turned out well, I allowed a different cat into the room, and so on and so on. Until each cat was comfortable enough with the other. Then, I allowed more than one, two, three and so on. I played it slow (about 3 weeks), to be sure that once she was in the other areas in the home, she would be fine with the rest of the cats and that they could share the total environment without incident. She now considers that room and adjoining room her safe haven if/when she needs it, yet she allows any number of the females in the same room with her and actually likes her own time in there. She as well as the others are all well-adjusted now, and don't have intimidation issues.
Maybe start over, not so much with "introductions" per se, but establishing a special room just for Grey. Each day, allow one cat into the room with her, and then on the next day, a different cat. You get the idea.
Sometimes, they do act like a pack, usually reserved for dogs in that regard. But, cats will gang up on another if they "sense" he/she is not wanting to be social or is scared, or withdrawn, etc.
Most importantly, relocation is a stressful event for cats, they cannot handle stress like humans can, and sometimes, that stress can rest for months and re-manifest later on, causing significant health problems (like anorexia, which leads to serious liver disease and other health problems). Do everything you can to keep the environment as harmonious as possible and seperate the cats if necessary. Establish seperate feeding stations, sleeping areas, etc, so they understand and recognize certain "boundaries".
Maybe another vet check for Grey is in order. Not that 10 years of age is old in any way, but she is older than the other three and may not be tolerating the stress well, she could be developing a hidden illness and you want to prevent that by getting her checked and bloodwork done for her.
..........Traci
Thank you for the feedback Traci- I really really appreciate it.
Grey has never integrated into the group. I was hoping moving into a neutral space (the new house) would sort of re-set everything. That was not the case. Mister's girls are less territorial, but they're all still fighting to be dominant.
We've just recently started feeding them in closer quarters in hopes that it reinforces social bonds between them. It's gone really well. They do just fine eating together. Everyone eats their own food, then they all swap dishes and make sure no one missed anything. They have no problems sharing litter boxes either. It's more when they're walking around the house and just happen into each other.
As for favorite places, Grey has a towel on her favorite perch which is on the top of a radiator in the bathroom. That's where she has slept at night since we moved in February.
We stopped letting them in our bedroom at night after we moved as their vocalizing would wake us up- we were afraid a fight would b break out on our pillows close to our faces. I have been debating letting just Grey in our bedroom, but didn't want to do anything that would further isolate her socially from the others. But I'll give that a try if you think it would help allievaite some of her stress? It just kills me to think she's not happy and calm.
I'll definitely try putting her in a room with just one other cat at a time. I think it would be really helpful to split up Mister's girls as they're the two that gang up so bad. Maybe if Grey and each of them can establish a bond, they'll stop being so afraid of each other.
PS She was just check about 3 weeks ago by a vet who verified everything is ok medically.
Grey has never integrated into the group. I was hoping moving into a neutral space (the new house) would sort of re-set everything. That was not the case. Mister's girls are less territorial, but they're all still fighting to be dominant.
We've just recently started feeding them in closer quarters in hopes that it reinforces social bonds between them. It's gone really well. They do just fine eating together. Everyone eats their own food, then they all swap dishes and make sure no one missed anything. They have no problems sharing litter boxes either. It's more when they're walking around the house and just happen into each other.
As for favorite places, Grey has a towel on her favorite perch which is on the top of a radiator in the bathroom. That's where she has slept at night since we moved in February.
We stopped letting them in our bedroom at night after we moved as their vocalizing would wake us up- we were afraid a fight would b break out on our pillows close to our faces. I have been debating letting just Grey in our bedroom, but didn't want to do anything that would further isolate her socially from the others. But I'll give that a try if you think it would help allievaite some of her stress? It just kills me to think she's not happy and calm.
I'll definitely try putting her in a room with just one other cat at a time. I think it would be really helpful to split up Mister's girls as they're the two that gang up so bad. Maybe if Grey and each of them can establish a bond, they'll stop being so afraid of each other.
PS She was just check about 3 weeks ago by a vet who verified everything is ok medically.
Re: Four cats- 10 months - still a mess
By seperation, I mean to say not to do this for too long. Have Grey and another cat in one room for about an hour or so as long as everything is going smoothly. Extend the hour to two or so, and so on. The next day, do the same with another cat, and keep rotating until each cat learns that the space is "sharable" without incident (this will take some time but is worth it when successful).
Also, something that I always find useful is involving them all in the same space with a playtime session, usually by dragging a string across the room or down the hall etc, so that they learn that playtime sessions are an opportunity to get exercise, play, share the same space and not feel intimidated by another. This playtime session should be consistent on a daily basis so they look forward to the time, since they are focused on the activity rather than directly on each other. Start with 10 minutes each day, then after about a week, increase to twice a day, ten or 15 minutes each time. Don't engage them in too rigorous play, just something they enjoy and that you are actively involved with them.
Have you "trained" them by using a squirt bottle? When one starts being agressive with another, use a squirt bottle combined with a stern "NO", and be consistent so they learn the behavior is not acceptable and so that they associate the squirt bottle with "uh-oh, I'm in trouble". You can also try temporary time-outs, with the instigator in another closed room for about 10 or 15 minutes (never for any longer). When you let the instigator back out of the room, immediately divert her attention to something pleasing, like playtime, a special toy or activity.
I would caution about keeping a towel on top of any radiator, especially when you're away from the home! Maybe instead, invest in a special kitty bed (some of them are heated, but be sure to keep the cord protected with a cord protector and unplugged when you're not home). You might also invest in a cat tree that has more than one "cubby hole" or perch etc, most cats will share them and enjoy taking turns with each perch etc. Try to place it by a safe window so they can enjoy watching out the window at the birds etc.
Keep a close eye on Grey, remember that stress can be silent for some time and can re-manifest itself later. Also remember that it is a natural instinct for some cats (and dogs) to gang up on another if the cat is weak, sick or ill or withdrawn. DO spend special time with Grey so that she feels she is an equal part of the family and not withdrawn because of the intimidation from the others. But also be sure to be very consistent with the squirt bottle, the combined "NO", the playtime sessions and try to keep things as routine as possible (cats don't like change in their environment).
Don't give up, keep us posted of any progress, ok?
Also, something that I always find useful is involving them all in the same space with a playtime session, usually by dragging a string across the room or down the hall etc, so that they learn that playtime sessions are an opportunity to get exercise, play, share the same space and not feel intimidated by another. This playtime session should be consistent on a daily basis so they look forward to the time, since they are focused on the activity rather than directly on each other. Start with 10 minutes each day, then after about a week, increase to twice a day, ten or 15 minutes each time. Don't engage them in too rigorous play, just something they enjoy and that you are actively involved with them.
Have you "trained" them by using a squirt bottle? When one starts being agressive with another, use a squirt bottle combined with a stern "NO", and be consistent so they learn the behavior is not acceptable and so that they associate the squirt bottle with "uh-oh, I'm in trouble". You can also try temporary time-outs, with the instigator in another closed room for about 10 or 15 minutes (never for any longer). When you let the instigator back out of the room, immediately divert her attention to something pleasing, like playtime, a special toy or activity.
I would caution about keeping a towel on top of any radiator, especially when you're away from the home! Maybe instead, invest in a special kitty bed (some of them are heated, but be sure to keep the cord protected with a cord protector and unplugged when you're not home). You might also invest in a cat tree that has more than one "cubby hole" or perch etc, most cats will share them and enjoy taking turns with each perch etc. Try to place it by a safe window so they can enjoy watching out the window at the birds etc.
Keep a close eye on Grey, remember that stress can be silent for some time and can re-manifest itself later. Also remember that it is a natural instinct for some cats (and dogs) to gang up on another if the cat is weak, sick or ill or withdrawn. DO spend special time with Grey so that she feels she is an equal part of the family and not withdrawn because of the intimidation from the others. But also be sure to be very consistent with the squirt bottle, the combined "NO", the playtime sessions and try to keep things as routine as possible (cats don't like change in their environment).
Don't give up, keep us posted of any progress, ok?
..........Traci
Re: Four cats- 10 months - still a mess
Will do- thank you so much for all of the great info.