Cats jealousy...Please help me!!!!

[elenavoyages]

Hello!
We have 3 cats, Etosha, 4y1/2, Bahasa & Ushuaia 1y, all 3 males. They have always been wonderfull house cat. Very loving and nice. And so clean!!! In October, a friend of us had to left the US to go back to France and he forgot to do the vaccines for his cat, a female, 4y old. He was thinking about abandonnig her. We couldn't let him do so we took her with us. Nothing is going well with the 3 males. They are fighing with her each time they meet her somewhere in the house. Then at the beginning of January we had to left home for 10 days. We've asked a cat sitter to come around very often to take care of them. Since we came back, a week ago, my older cat and one of the 2 brothers let pee on my stuff (not on my husband's!!!)..Sometimes, they wait and pee just in front of us and run away...! I thought it might be because we have some friends around so after the 10 days we left they might consider that I don't take enough care of them....? + the new cat....I don't know what to do!!! Today, as I was alone at home (freinds left for the day) I stayed all day with them....
Please, help me if you have any idea of how I can deal with this crisis...!!! And also, how can I make them accept the new cat?? She's so cute and has been abandonned by her owners...I would like to offer her a great new life in a loving home!!!!
Thank you so much for your help!!!!!

[Traci]

"Friends around" . Are they living with you? Are they there on a daily basis or quite often? Do they respect the needs and desires of the cats? (most cats are not fond of strangers anyway, it takes time for them to accept different people, especially on a constant basis)

Did you allow proper introductions when you aquired the female? If not, you can still initiate them. There is a link at the top of this forum titled "Feline Introductions"...read the tips, employ them as it fits your particular situation.

Please understand all of the cats seem to have been under extreme stressful situations. If there are people in the home other than yourself, they are not familiar with, if you leave for long periods of time, if they are to be in the care of a stranger when you're gone and that person isn't there long enough to tend to them, if YOU aren't there long enough to tend to them, then problems like this are imminent.

Start by implementing proper introductions between the new female and the three males. This can take some time and you must be comitted to it. Each cat needs to have equal attention from you, you have to be keenly aware of their individual needs and you have to accomodate those needs. Usually, seperation between the new cat and the resident cats only requires several days to a week or so, --with intermittent periods of allowing them into the same space for introductions, etc -- not much longer because the more confinement they are in, the more difficult and lengthy the introduction periods are. (the link I mention is not exact, and does not apply to every situation, you have to apply it to fit your particular situation/environment)

The cats need seperate areas they can retreat to when they need to (i.e., sleeping, napping, playing, and to retreat to when your friends are there). In other words, make sure they have a safe haven to retreat to during any circumstance they might be upset, fearful, scared, tired, etc.

Try not to change anything in the environment from this point on. Four things have occured already in a very short period of time that is certainly causing them stress: a new cat, your leaving for 10 days, a petsitter in the home, and your friends in your home. Understand that cats do not handle stress like humans do, they are very susceptible to stress and stress leads to health illness and behavioral problems. Address each thing individually, slowly, and when that thing is resolved, move on to the next...if any of the cats are having urinary tract health issues, avoiding the litterbox, being more vocal or withdrawn, you probably should consider getting that cat(s) to your vet for an exam to rule out potential urinary tract infections, etc, which can occur at any time under stress.

Spend more quality time with them, make it routine, on a daily basis. Provide for them an exercise/playtime activity for 10 minutes, twice a day...try to get them all involved in the same space with different toys, and with your direct involvement. The more they are focused on toys and a pleasurable experience, the less likely they will be focused on each other. You have to be comitted to this and be consistent so they can look forward to special times and feel less threatened by each other, etc.

Be sure you are providing enough litterboxes in the home, and place them in different areas of the home. Food and water dishes at this point should also have two "stations", close together but far enough apart that the cats are comfortable when eating. Intimidation by one or more cats to another cat, can cause avoidance of food, avoidance of using the litterbox, avoidance of being social with each other, and can lead to health and behavior problems quickly.

[mamabear]

I can not add anything but support for what traci says here. Please let us know what is going on. I hope you get through this.

[elenavoyages]

The friends are gone...The "pee habit" stopped immediatly!
Since yesterday I've spent a lot of time home with my cats. For the new one, I prepared for her the all basement with food and litter just for her.
For the males, they have the main floor, as you said I separate them.
I spend time with Missy, the female, like that I "wear" her odor and get my older male, Etosha, used to it. He is very quiet.
How long do you think I should let things like that?
It is hard for us to see her so unhappy and alone.
I'm sure she's living badly her separation with her "masters" (I don't know if you use this term in english..) and the presence in her new home, new life of 3 other cats as she was used to be alone!
I do my best as I want her to be happy!
I hope everything will be all right.
Thank you for your help. I will tell you how it comes between them.
Don't hesitate to give me other advices!!!! And thank you again!!!

[mamabear]

Elena, I don't see Traci but I am sure she will post when she sees this. Here for now is something for you to read. Cat Introductions you might have some good tips in there for ya.

i am sure she misses her masters(owners masters all the same to me ) lol. Has she been to the vet lately just to make sure she was vaccinated and tested properly? Is she fixed(spayed)? Are your males neutered?

Keep them all safe from each other for now and give them plenty of love. You are doing ok so far, you have at least figured out that they need help with getting to know each other. AND you are willing to learn how to do it. Truly you adore them and want the best for all of them. Good luck and keep us posted. We always like hearing the good the bad and the funny dont forget!!

Hugs

[elenavoyages]

Missy is spayed and Etosha, Bahasa and Ushuaia are neutered! She is fine and vaccinated. She is only sad. But I spend time with her to make her feel how I like her and that she is very welcome!
I read the "feline introduction" and prepared everything to "do it again"...I should have find your website when we had her first! I hope it is not too late! Can you imagine, my husband left home very early this morning (4:00am) and when I woke up later the 3 males were all over the bed near me! I think they're happy to have me back just for them!!!! I want so much her to be happy with us as the 3 others! I'll deal with that!!!!....thanks to your help!!!! See you soon to give you good news....I hope!

[Traci]

The link to Feline Introductions isn't exact for every cat owner and may not apply to every cat owner, but it is a good starting point.

Remember not to keep her confined in the basement for long periods of time. Each day, let her out and allow the cats to interact for short periods of time....there will be hissing and growling, but that would be normal during introductions, they are telling each other "you're too close, back off", or, "respect my space", or "I want to be left alone right now", you get the idea. You should be present during each time the cats are allowed together, to supervise. You should NOT intervene in any way during these short periods of introduction, UNLESS there is obvious fighting such as biting, scratching or any harm serious enough to cause drawing blood or other physical harm. Hissing and growling are normal behavior during introductions, so allow them to "speak" to each other in that way and do not intervene. Just observe them from a short distance away, remain calm and quiet as possible. You can give calm gentle vocal commands to them if one or more decide to act really agressive (attack mode), such as a stern "NO" and step between them, and they should back off. Be consistent about your being there for supervision but again, try not to intervene as they are checking each other out.

At night, at least for several days (about a week but no longer), I would keep the door to the basement closed, so that all the males feel secure in their environment, and so that the female feels secure in hers. After several days or a week, start leaving the basement door open and allow all the cats access to and from the basement. If they aren't already, the males will be curious about her and her environment downstairs, and likewise, she wants to check out theirs upstairs.

At leat twice a day, set aside time to engage with them in a playtime activity upstairs. Involve them all in the same space (like your livingroom). Start by providing several toys or drag a sting across the floor for them to chase. The more focused they are on playtime and activity, the less focused they are on each other...and if you're consistent with the playtime sessions, they will eventually look forward to it, associate it with a good experience, and will become more accustomed and feel more secure with each other. Remember, be consistent, make a routine of the playtime sessions, actively engage yourself with them, and eventually, they will become more harmonious with each other.

Likewise, give each cat individual attention whenever possible. When one or more is sleeping, for example, give attention to one who isn't sleeping, etc.

Make sure there are plenty of litterboxes in the home for all the cats, and strategically placed for them. Rule of thumb is one box per cat, but you could probably get away with three. They should be in at least two different areas in the home, and easily accessible. Cats generally like to urinate in one, and defecate in another. Keep them scooped on a daily basis, and cleaned and rinsed completely at least once a week.

Use an enzymatic cleaner like Petastic to clean areas one or more kitties has urine-marked on. (it's alittle pricey, but worth it). If the areas are not properly cleaned, they will continue to mark those areas. Do NOT use heavy household cleaners, since they are generally toxic to cats, contain scents that cats hate, and they will mark the areas again simply to mask the cleaner's scent.

Keep stress in the enviroment reduced at all costs. Try to keep the environment calm, quiet when possible, do not change routines or change anything in their environment. Cats like to have their environment un-changed, calm, and harmonious. If you must have friends or company over, make sure the cats have areas to retreat to in another room so they are not stressed by strange people....remember, the cats feel it is THEIR home, and may be stressed or put off if strangers are in the home too often. Likewise, instruct your guests to repect the cats, and not handle them unless the cat invites them to, etc.

[elenavoyages]

I can hardly believe what I'm gone write now!!!
At this instant, the older cat, Etosha, and Missy, our new girl, are together in the same small space! He is on HIS armchair, she is few feet away, by the window, they are looking to each others...no over reactions! No fight...I went there and spent some time with each one of them, make them smell me with the other's odor....Still quiet!!!
I'm quite impressed! I hope there will be no big noise in order not to afraid them and to let them together quiet! I'm so surprised! First time that they are so near and don't fight! What a relief! Do you think I shall let them do their own way like that and keep them separated at night????

[Traci]

You could if you want, again, don't intervene unless necessary...the more they are allowed to see/interact with each other, the sooner they will get accustomed to one another.

Just remember, only a few days, no more than a week keeping the basement door closed at night. Otherwise in the next few days, if they seem to be getting along well, then you can leave the basement door open even sooner.

[mamabear]

Great!!!! Dont forget that she needs extra love when you can steal it and the boys dont see ya!!! She is stressed due to the change and I dont blame her. A little extra petting would be good for her. Make sure she is going potty and grooming herself. whether you see her groom herself or you see her coat is still good is a good sign. If her coat is getting dull, she is just not motivated to do anything or any change that you see out of the ordinary then call vet and see what they say.

Good luck and please keep us posted. I love hearing the good the bad and the funny.