Some PLEASE shed some light on this?HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
I'm at a loss and need advice! My 16 month old male, Kaine, used be really cuddly and friendly, but 6 months ago he suddenly stopped for no reason. Took him to the vet nothing was wrong, but now he doesn't like to be held, cuddle, touched almost EVER and he NEVER purrs anymore. Where did I go wrong?? We have two cats, Kaine (black american shorthair) and Dakota (american shorthair mixed with siamese). We got Dakota when Kaine was 8 months old and they didn't along at first, but after a few days they were best buds, even groom and even sleep snuggled up... Vet can't explain it and it's breaking my heart because Kaine's ALWAYS been my boy. Some PLEASE shed some light on this?
Some PLEASE shed some light on this?Re: HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
PS> If you have ANY ideas please don't hesitate to email me, adam.e.beattie@gmail.com. Also, I don't know if it matters but Dakota is VERY cuddly with both me and my wife. Kaine was always kinda shy around my wife but not me.
Re: HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
Is Dakota male or female? Are they both neutered/spayed?
Other than the new kitty in the home, have there been any other drastic changes in his environment? Particularly, concerning YOU? (i.e., your routine, did some bad or strange event happen that he associates you with, other changes in the home, etc)
Other than the new kitty in the home, have there been any other drastic changes in his environment? Particularly, concerning YOU? (i.e., your routine, did some bad or strange event happen that he associates you with, other changes in the home, etc)
..........Traci
Re: HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
Both Kaine and 'Kota are neutered males. The last major change was in Dec 2006, we moved, but this started happening after that. Our routine has been the same for about a year steady.
Re: HELP!!, suddenly anti-social? Why??
So, this occured after you adopted Dakota, yes?
Can you think back to the time when you feel Kaine started withdrawing from your bonding? Usually, when this happens, it is because something, or a certain event or situation was stressful and the cat associates that event. Did you scold him unnecessarily for some reason? Did company scare him? Did your routine change? Numerous things and situations it could have been, try to think back.
Otherwise, if it occured around or shortly after the time you adopted Dakota, and they are truly best buddies, then it is possible that he prefers Dakota's companionship/company to yours. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means he is bonded to Dakota moreso now.
It could also be that he notices Dakota loves the attention from you and your wife...some cats are sort of put-off by that if they were previously the only cat in the household. Read on...
It is also common for kittens anywhere from 4 months of age to a year or so, to become independent of you, and not seek the attention they needed during kittenhood. That doesn't mean you still shouldn't try and encourage bonding times, attention giving, etc, because you should! (albeit, slowly, and at his convenience, you don't want to tick him off). Just figure out what he likes best, what times of the day he is more reponsive to attention, and try getting his attention by using his favorite toys, activities, playtime sessions, even take a nap with him, etc. This can reinvent the bonding, and if you're consistent with the time spent to giving him attention, he may become more bonded as he was before. Include BOTH cats in their playtime sessions, give them both equal attention, but take one special time in the day to give Kaine attention that he was used to before (like when Dakota is napping). Do this every day, be consistent, and eventually, he may come around. Don't be surprised if he doesn't, but don't fault him for it either.
How does he react to your wife now? Is he closer to her now? Usually, a cat will "choose" a family member they bond to most, but sometimes, that may change, and the cat may start prefering another family member. There's no explaination for that (unless there were situations or events that led to it), it's just a quirk that some cats have.
Can you think back to the time when you feel Kaine started withdrawing from your bonding? Usually, when this happens, it is because something, or a certain event or situation was stressful and the cat associates that event. Did you scold him unnecessarily for some reason? Did company scare him? Did your routine change? Numerous things and situations it could have been, try to think back.
Otherwise, if it occured around or shortly after the time you adopted Dakota, and they are truly best buddies, then it is possible that he prefers Dakota's companionship/company to yours. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means he is bonded to Dakota moreso now.
It could also be that he notices Dakota loves the attention from you and your wife...some cats are sort of put-off by that if they were previously the only cat in the household. Read on...
It is also common for kittens anywhere from 4 months of age to a year or so, to become independent of you, and not seek the attention they needed during kittenhood. That doesn't mean you still shouldn't try and encourage bonding times, attention giving, etc, because you should! (albeit, slowly, and at his convenience, you don't want to tick him off). Just figure out what he likes best, what times of the day he is more reponsive to attention, and try getting his attention by using his favorite toys, activities, playtime sessions, even take a nap with him, etc. This can reinvent the bonding, and if you're consistent with the time spent to giving him attention, he may become more bonded as he was before. Include BOTH cats in their playtime sessions, give them both equal attention, but take one special time in the day to give Kaine attention that he was used to before (like when Dakota is napping). Do this every day, be consistent, and eventually, he may come around. Don't be surprised if he doesn't, but don't fault him for it either.
How does he react to your wife now? Is he closer to her now? Usually, a cat will "choose" a family member they bond to most, but sometimes, that may change, and the cat may start prefering another family member. There's no explaination for that (unless there were situations or events that led to it), it's just a quirk that some cats have.
..........Traci