Kitty?? Should have named her Ghost

[jgmorgan]

First off I just want to say hello to everyone.

A couple of month ago I could have sworn we brought home a 5 month old female Siamese cat from the pet store. We never see her because she is always hiding under our bed with the exception of when we go to sleep. I know she is out because you can hear her darting around the house or chomping on her food. Come to think of it I haven’t ever seen her walk anywhere is it full bore or nothing. If you get up and she sees you she darts back under the bed. Occasionally she will jump up on the bed when we lay down for the night wanting attention. She starts purring loudly and lays down on you. But when you start to pet her she turns her head and bites you, not hard enough to break the skin and it isn’t the quick nip she grabs hold and doesn’t let go all the while purring. For the last week she has just been jumping up on the bed then right back down she doesn’t even stop to say hi.

More or less I am 100% confused about her behavior. I have had several cats before this one and none of them have acted this way. Does anyone have any idea what is going on with her?

Jon

[Traci]

The first and most important thing to do is get her to your vet for a complete exam so that health issues are ruled out. If you've never had her checked by your vet, now is the time to do so. Cats who withdraw and do not socialize may be suffering from a hidden health problem. During the exam, ask your vet to rule out worms, test for FELV/FIV, etc.

You're going to have to do some serious interaction with her. Bonding. I'd close off the area where she gets under the bed. If she doesn't have that opportunity to hide, then she is somewhat forced to socialize with you. Spend quality and sufficient time with her with playtime, interactive toys, catnip, provide her with a kitty perch or cat tree, a kitty bed in an area that is preferrable to her. You have to earn her trust; it takes time and patience and will not happen overnight, but this trust can develop between you fairly quickly if you are persistant.

Please get her to your vet immediately for a check up. Your vet can also give you tips...

[kate & kobi]

try getting lots of toys, like the kind with a long feather at the end of a stick. tease her with that, bounce it around, swish it across the floor in front of the bed... it really helped our scaredy-cat come out of her shell, and out from under the bed. entice her with things she'll chase - mice, crunched up pieces of paper... leave treats out a few feet from the edge of the bed and then sit back and watch... also make sure she has good hiding places in the main rooms of your house - empty cardboard boxes, chairs (but be careful with recliners) that she can hide under or behind - this will help her feel safe in those areas of the house, too.

another thing you could try is a small bowl of tuna, bring that onto the bed while you're under the covers - while she's eating it, try slowly and gently to pet her. she might prefer it if you pet her with the back of your hand at first - sometimes they get scared when they see the palm of your hand reaching toward them. she'll be happy and distracted by the tuna, so she won't bite you (in theory, anyway); that's how I got Kobi to let me pet her for the first time.

be patient and allow her space, but also be very persistent about pushing her boundaries. she will never come out of her shell if you don't push her, slowly, but surely. don't try to grab her and hold her, don't force her to do anything too fast, but DO try to push her limits so that she comes to trust you.

best of luck! I'll be interested to hear how it's going ...

Kate

[Andyck]

First concern is to have her checked by a vet to rule out any health issues. As Traci stated, kitty's that aren't feeling well have a tendancy to hide and shy away from human contact.

If she receives a clean health check, it could be a social issue from her first few months and may take some time and patience. Did the pet store give you any information regarding her background? You might be the first human contact she's really experienced and would explain her timidness and hesitation.

I suggest finding a "toy" that she shows any interest in or positively reacts to and playing with her. Avoid sudden moves if they seem to spook her, and keep repeating her name and reinforcing her playful behavior.

She may not act the same as your other kitties, but neither have mine. Just be patient and give her some time.

[jgmorgan]

Thanks for all the advice. I will have her checked out and try to encourage her to socialize. I have a feeling this is going to be a long process. I have tried toys and treats but she seems to be scared of most of the toys and always runs off after receiving a treat. I guess we will just have to keep trying.

Something I forgot to mention is our kids. We have a 4 year old and a 9 month old, as you can imagine the 4 year old pesters her a lot this may be the reason she hides so much.

Thanks again,
Jon

[MA]

Sorry but this is one time I disagree with Traci. Your kitty if she checks out health-wise shows every indication that she is from a kitty mill (typical for pet stores to buy from there) Her hiding is just from her past experience and has no reflection on you at all. Blocking off this access to her, will harm the relationship you are trying to form with her. Underneath the bed, she feels safe and secure. You can do the following things with her to gain her trust. This is AFTER she has been given a clean bill of health.

Feed her on a regular basis-don't deviate. Play classical harp music in the room on really low long playing in the room- Visit her, sit on the floor and open up a book and just read out loud to her softly. Take an old teeshirt you don't care much about, and get it really sweaty with your scent. Do a massive workout in it, then take it in the room and set in under her food bowl, and put some tasty treats on the shirt itself. Take some cat treats while you are reading to her and just toss them under the bed to her. Give her a cardboard box- flip it upside down, cut holes in it big enough so she can pass through the doors, and windows, weight down the top and put it in the room for her private cave. Take a toy on a stick in with you- a feaher is great, a peacock feather, and sit on the floor and try to engage her prey instinct with it. When she comes out do not make eye contact with her- look above her, or beyond her, but not right at her eyes. But please do not block off the only place she feels safe. You will set back your bonding with her by weeks and months if you do. You have to reset your clock to her timing and be patient with her. Whatever you do don't try and pull her out or force yourself on her. let her figure you out and let her make the first moves. Good luck

[Traci]

Something I forgot to mention is our kids. We have a 4 year old and a 9 month old, as you can imagine the 4 year old pesters her a lot this may be the reason she hides so much.

That puts a whole new light on the subject! You must teach your 4-year-old that sometimes, your kitten is off-limits, that she is not a playtoy, and that she needs her space and privacy. While your child probably means no harm, young children do not understand that pets are not playtoys, and you must teach them to handle them correctly, treat them gently, and to leave them alone if kitty is scared. (last thing you want is your kids to get bit or scratched). Never leave your kitten and child together unsupervised/unattended. As for the 9-month-old, as an example, crying infants can really stress out a kitty. Not your fault of course, just give kitty more attention and try to provide for her a private area, one that is as soundproof as possible Remember that children are very energetic, make sudden movements, and can unintentially scare kitty into hiding or agressiveness. Pets and children can coinhabit together and form close bonds but it begins with gentle handling, respect and your supervision.

I would suggest investing in a cat tree, one that includes a 'house' or cubby hole, kitty can feel safe in her cubby if she chooses, yet she would be in an area you can see her and find her when necessary.

[jgmorgan]

I just thought I would give you an update. She came out to say hi last night after everyone else went to bed and I was on the couch watching a movie. I played with her for about 30 min with a toy mouse. Lots of fun I might add.

Hold the tuna she wants cheese. While I was watching TV last night I was snacking on some sliced cheese and crackers. Well she stole a piece of cheese off my plate. Is it ok for cats to eat cheese? She sat and begged me for another piece for about 20 min after I move the plate off the floor onto my lap.

Seems I always end up with the strangest of felines. One of my other cats had a thing for butter if you left it out she would eat it and now this one wants cheese.

My other cat also stopped using her litter box and started using the toilet. We didn’t teach her to use it she started doing it all on her own. The strangest thing is that she would flush when she was done. Kind of freaked me out to hear the toilet flush the first time. I was the only one home and was walking by the bathroom when I heard the toilet flush the door was wide open and the light was off so I stuck my head in and turned on the light. There she was sitting on pot. She took one quick look at me jumped down and trotted off.

Thanks again for the advice,
Jon

[Traci]

Jon, cheese is ok as long as it is given infrequently. As with any milk or dairy product, some cats are lactose intolerant and some dairy products can cause them to develop diarrhea and/or constipation. A treat now and then isn't going to hurt though.

You mentioned another kitty, how does she view your new kitten?

Congratulations on the bonding session last night, this is good news, apparently, you can get her to come around with cheese, LOL.

[jgmorgan]

We lost her a few years ago to leukemia. I seem to have the worst luck with pets. First we lost her. Then after about a year we got a dog which was stolen out of my back yard about 6 months ago. We are hoping to have better luck with this one.