judy, EVERYTHING that you are mentioning is related to the PACK ORDER. Those dogs growl because they do not know their place. I would highly recomend you stop "trying" to be alpha and "become" it. Not yelling at you, just trying to reassure you that when you take on that role they will no longer have ot worry. I said that you must feed the one who has been there the longest first.
Food in your hand with the oldest dog
other dogs not around
dog must work (always) for food, could be just a simple sit BUT when dog sits you must release dog(we use ok or the german word for it depending what we are doing)
After the release you tell the dog to eat(again we use german to say eat food)
Then you go do the exact same thing with the other dogs.
You dont have to wait for the oldest to finish in order to feed the other. Just as long as the oldest was fed that is good enough.
Cats have no bearing on the pack order of dogs. feeding your cats will prove nothing to your dogs. You are to eat first again even it is a cup of coffee then you feed dogs
If you do not have time to spend doing this in the morning then you must get to bed earlier to get up an hour before your normal time and do this. Once your dogs know their pack order you will get faster at doing this. Once they know their pack order you wont always have to go through these motions with them. BUT the oldest goes out first NEVER them at the same time, Its you by the door then you let the oldest out then the next one and so fourth.
Everything you are doing is what is causing them to the way they are. DH not wanting the animals in his home is his choice and I dont blame him, its his house and his rules. I have my own rules here and although my dogs are in my home I have cages for them and they love them and I let them out but they do not go on anything at all. They do have a kennel they go into as well.
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Karen, deaf dogs are very smart. You are doing a great job with the bad command. Dont forget when she is being submissive or starts to show it dont let her get too subbimiision that can become OCD behavior or peeing on the floor. You want her to show you submission or oh boy i know i was wrong sawwwy mommy and praise her for it. Have you taught her the "what a good girl" command? do you have a command for that ? if you dont get one and work with her on it. As soon as she does something good you sign it to her. That is positive reinforcement.
If she turns to ignor you, YOU walk to her to where she can see you and show her the bad command. Then if she complies sign the good girl command.
I am not sure how well she is with the whole stomping in the house thing. I know someone when dog is in house that stomps once while dog is in room for her to stop and twice for good girl. But it only works if she is in the same room as the dog so i laugh with that one. She has taught the dog sign so that helps her.
I have to go for now. But would love to continue, i will have to check in later when I get back from my outings.
JUDY please please take the time to train your dogs and read the book. Your dogs are fighting because of the pecking order. Fix that and you will have good dogs. They wont be perfect, they will still try to get higher in the pack but you will be able to control them.
I have two Intact(yes they are both not neutered) and they play together drink together and have eaten in one cage together. THey love to play fight and fool around a lot and you would think they were killing eachother but they are wonderful dogs and that is due to good training and the knowledge that they know Im queen not them.
My oldest dog always goes out first and gets fed first.