My friends cat Geoffry...behavioral problems

[Tina B and crew]

This is actually very similar to Susans MIL's problem with Gabriel. I'll try to lay the whole scenario out for you as quickly as I can. My friend Barbara just recently moved out of her home, leaving a bad relationship of many years. She had to leave her cat behind...I don't know if it was because she couldn't take it to where she was moving or because of the breakup. I do know she didn't want to stir up trouble because her partner was very volatile at the time. Barbara moved in with another friend, Pat.

After living there about a month or so Pat took her to the Humane Society and adopted two kittens for her birthday, Geoffrey and Chloe (they are now about 6 months old..spayed and neutered). Pat already has two dogs, shi-tzus. Everything seemed to go well for a while, but recently Geoffrey has "gotten out of hand" as Barbara says. They also recently took in a stray kitten that was born under their house to a somewhat feral cat (neighbors took the rest of the kittens...they are trying to arrange spay for the mother cat)...this kitten is maybe 10 weeks old.

Geoffry climbs everything, scratches on things (I told them to try every possible type of scratching post), hides, breaks things. Every time I am over there he looks literally terrified. One of the shi-tzu's persues him relentlessly and is always humping on him. I told Barbara that Geoffrey is feeling the low man on the totem pole right now with her and Pat being mad at him for breaking things and the dog pestering him constantly. I had also told Barbara that he was bored, so they bought him tons of toys...however he isn't interested. I also told her she needed to play with him daily...let him get his energy out. She says she has been doing this. Geoffrey also recently got displaced out of his room because of the new kitten. I can't say that I blame Geoffrey for his disposition right now...I'd be unhappy too.

Barbara and Pat have told me several times that they want to find another home for Geoffrey...they won't take him back to HS...or to animal services and that is good IMO. At first I was pretty upset and thought they weren't really trying to work with him. I also told them to consider that he is still a kitten and will settle down once he is older. But I was over there last night and I honestly think Geoffrey would be happier in a home with no dogs and maybe only one other cat. The poor guy looked terrified the whole time we were there. And the darn dog would not leave him alone, not matter where Geoffrey went, the dog followed, trying to hump! I told Barbara that I felt adopting an animal means for life...she agrees and teared up...she is concerned for Geoffrey's happiness most of all. I might add that the house they live in is probably only 800 sq ft...w/ two energetic dogs and three cats.

Any other suggestions I can give them? Or do you think that finding a more suitable home for Geoffrey is the best plan?

[MA]

Boy talk about an undisciplined dog! I would put the dog into obedience classes, I would also find a home for that cat as quick as possible. How they allow that dog to terrorize a cat is beyond me. When you have dogs you accept the responsibility of training them. Basic obedience would take care of the problem. Mike and I used to train shepherds when we were in Alaska, and we saw a lot of people who *thought* their dogs were trained, but they weren't.

That poor cat! I do hope they won't be bringing anymore animals into the home until the dog is better behaved.

Sorry, but this burns me, it is so unneccesary. If they don't have a cat condo, they need one, a tall sturdy one where the cat can climb up and out of reach of the tormentor.

[Traci]

I'm sorry, but I agree with MA on this one. It sounds like a mess of irresponsibility, taking on too many pets at the wrong times, and why Barbara never got her own cat out of a bad situation is beyond me. You know me, you mentioned her SO was volatile, and if that's truly the case, her kitty is in a bad situation.

As I see it, Pat was irresponsible in getting two new kittens for Barbara when she knew full well it would be added responsibility, stressful for all involved, not to mention a small home in which to accomodate so many pets. Also, the dog needs to be taught not to terrorize the cats and he needs limits and boundaries.

The solution as I see it, Barbara needs to move out, take the two kittens (and maybe the new one) with her, get her other kitty away from her ex, and start out fresh. I understand the situation may not allow her that at this time, but she needs to try.

Geoffrey doesn't deserve even one ounce of blame for this situation. It's the human adults who have created the situation for him, and they have to rectify it for his sake. Is placing him in a new home the answer? I rarely recommend that as a solution, mainly due to the stress involved for the kitty, not to mention no one can garantee the outcome. But, if Barbara can't move out with the kitties, perhaps Geoffrey would be better off in a new home.

In a nutshell and based only on your post, it sounds like an environment full of stress, the two humans need to adress it rationally, with respect to the pets. Your suggestions were great, but are they actually working on them or simply telling you they are.

[Tina B and crew]

Thanks...I have to say I mostly agree with you. About the former relationship...there is no way she can go back and get her cat...absolutely out of the question. I think she left it there because she wasn't sure what her life was going to be like after the move and felt like she couldn't do that to her cat. I know her SO and while I don't care for her, I honestly don't think she would ever do anything to hurt the cat. The relationship wasn't physically abusive, but emotionally abusive. I don't want to get into details about that because it's past and nothing can be done...and yes I hate that she had to leave her cat behind too. She can't move from Pat's place because she is broke, lost her job and just started a new one this past month...she is trying to save up so she can get her own place.

I did mention the cat condo to them...but so far they have not taken that advice much to my dismay. My friend Pat is somewhat living her second childhood...and at times she does things that I can't believe a grown woman (in her 50's) would do. Getting the cats was one of them. I know she meant well, but she didn't think about any of the responsibilities or repercussions involved. She's a sweet woman at heart and very educated, but obviously doesn't think and lacks common sense at times.

I will mention the cat condo again....and I will also mention to Barbara alone that I feel the dog is terrorizing the cat. I may mention it to Pat, but I honestly don't think she sees it that way. When she has company over she doesn't lock her dogs up and spends more time telling the people to be careful with her dogs than making sure the dogs don't jump on the people who don't care for dogs! They did buy more toys for Geoffrey after I mentioned his boredom...I do know that...but Geoffrey can't play because the dog harrasses him. My whole family was over there last night...all of us got upset and Barbara got upset at this. But it did no good.

Don't apologize for your honest opinions...you are right Traci..it is a mess of irresponsibility, and bringing in the other cat to me was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm going to try a few more talks, but I am starting to think that the stress of moving to a new home would not be as hard on Geoffrey as having to evade this darn dog all the time. I've even considered bring Geoffrey here and fostering him until they can find him a home...but he'd be harrassed by my cats *sigh*

[MA]

Sometimes, no matter how much you want to fix things, they remain so broken it can make you nuts! Sorry for losing my temper.