Introducing cats

[Traci]

It sounds like Lilybeth's traveling lifestyle may have something to do with it. Think of it as her being set in her ways to some extent.

I am going to assume that Patricia took great care with her patience and forgiveness in the early years with Lilybeth. So, now you will have to do the same thing, but this may take some time. Never forget the stresses that Lilybeth has endured, and also keep in mind her health (the heart murmur and potential early renal disease). Just as with Nigel, you have to keep stress minimized for Lilybeth as well.

I think if you take time each day to create a safe and inviting environment for Lilybeth, and earn her trust, she may just surprise you. One step at a time: allow her to become accustomed to your presence, talk softly to her, offer her things of comfort (her room is one)...toys, a favorite blanket, kitty bed, etc. and of course, tons of love and attention so that she feels secure and safe. It sounds like you already have taken steps to create a safe haven for her.

As for Nigel and Lilybeth's introductions: one day at a time. Take time at least twice a day if possible to introduce them. Your approach thus far seems fine, but I would add that you not intervene too much. If she loves her room, chances are, this is her secure and safe haven, and she will remain there until she is ready to venture out and explore her new environment. If Nigel seems curious or interested in meeting her, then I would suggest you place yourself between them to supervise, but not intervene unless one or both gets upset. (you could also try a baby-gate in the doorway of her room, so the cats are nearby each other and can see each other but feel safe due to the baby-gate for seperation). Hissing and growling will be normal, accept that with feline introductions (this may persist for several days or weeks). But if Lilybeth seems like she is in actual "attack" mode, then promptly leave with Nigel into another room and leave her be for awhile. Try again later. With each attempt, she will learn trust with both you and Nigel. Do continue to spend quality time with Nigel in his special room or area so that he too feels safe and secure.

Another thing you can try is an approach with food. Food is oftentimes a security blanket for cats, so using it during introductions can be helpful. Try placing two bowls of food for each cat within several feet of each other (or on opposite sides of the baby-gate) and calling the cats to eat. Stand (or sit) between them to supervise, and make these attempts at each feeding session. One or both may feel apprehensive at first, this would be normal, but with each passing day, and by sticking to a routine, it should become less stressful for both cats to be in each other's presence. Don't interfere or pay special attention to them, just be there to supervise and offer a calming, soft voice occasionally.

If you don't feel you want to mess with Nigel's feeding dishes, then continue to fee him at his normal feeding station, and call Lilybeth to eat close to the area with a dish of her own food. This should be several feet away from Nigel's dish. Or you can slowly move her dish out of her room and each day, by a few feet, move it closer to a desired location you will eventually want her to eat at. To get her interested in venturing out of her room, operate a can-opener, or offer her a treat of canned food. (this will require patience!) During this time however, if she refuses to venture out, continue to feed her in her own room, it's a must that the amount of food she eats on a daily basis is consistent.

After a few or several days of getting the cats adjusted to the feeding routine, you can then try another approach with playtime or activity. The key is getting them accustomed to each other's presence in the same space, yet creating a secure environment for them both. Engaging yourself into their playtime and activity can help by allowing the cats to focus on the activity rather than directly on each other, and eventually allows a certain amount of trust to form between them. This won't happen overnight, and it does take time and comittment, but it is an excellent method of getting them accustomed to each other without fear and apprehension. Your involvement is crucial to create a harmonious environment for both of them. Try not to intervene too much, because cats need to acclimate themselves to each other on their own feline terms, the only time you should truly intervene is when there is attacking, biting, scratching between them, or when one retreats to another area, in which you would want to calm the cat(s) and try to divert their attentions to something else...like food, treats, toys, playtime, or cuddling, etc.

This is not an exact step-by-step procedure, it is only a guide that can be helpful. Just try applying small steps, be patient, and comitted. Try to keep things in a certain routine so that the cats learn what to expect and acclimate accordingly. Don't give up easily, this is a mistake many owners make too often...with time and comittment, there is always a chance at harmony and security between them. Don't expect perfect results immediately, it can take weeks and sometimes months for some situations, but the rewards are worth every bit.

As for the window screens, I would suggest only opening the window slightly, that is, the window should only be open to a width that is smaller than the cat's head, so she can't escape by pusing out the screen, but that fresh air is still coming through.

[Heartburm]

Hi again, Traci. I really, really appreciate the time that you have taken to give me advice on the introduction. However, it just isn't going to workout. I tried letting them see each other again today. They were sitting about 8 feet apart from each other, with me in the middle, and Lilybeth, without warning attacked Nigel. I was able to pull her off of him because I had her leash on her. I couldn't find any bite marks on him but he is terrified. He won't come out from under the couch, even when I try to coax him with food. He also hasn't eaten since yesterday and startles easily (not like him). The stress is showing and I won't do this to him. Lilybeth seems fine after the encounter, she was purring and eating within minutes.

I am in the process of trying to find another home for Lilybeth. Until then, I will keep her safely secured in her room and will not let them see each other. Hopefully, Nigel will start to feel secure again. I had really hoped that it would work out because I wanted so much to give Lilybeth a good home. She would have ended up in a shelter if I hadn't of taken her, so I guess I spared her that trauma. I will do everything I can to place her in a loving environment.

[Traci]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Perhaps the introduction was too soon, would it be possible to reconsider and give it more time, and/or use a baby-gate or something as a security measure?

I understand your concern for Nigel, but it's possible the introduction was too soon, at least without the intro having been at his convenience, and on both cat's own terms.

I would be concerned for Lilybeth's stress factors as well if you decided to rehome her. She has a heart murmur and possibly early renal disease and stress can exacerbate either one. If a new owner were considered, they would have to be comitted to her care, would have to understand her recent and prior stresses to keep them reduced at all costs, and probably not have other pets in the home.