Help for grieving cat?

[Angela]

Hi!
Last week I had to put my girl kitty Mimi down, we miss her so much. But it seems that my oldest male cat, Minute (he was like her husband) is very depressed. He was diagnosed almost a year ago w/ congenital heart failure but w/ meds he has been doing quite well. Since Mimi has gone he seems to be slipping a bit. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help him deal w/ his grief? Thanks in advance,
Angela

[DeVon]

That is never an easy decision to make. I have not yet had to deal with any of my cats grieving the loss of a feline friend, but my small retriever mix went through a grieving period of about two weeks when I lost my first greyhound (they were best buds). She didn't want to play, layed around a lot, picked at her food but didn't eat well.

I know it's hard because you too are grieving, and our pets are very perceptive in picking up on what we feel. I would recommend spending more one-on-one time with him, and I wouldn't hesitate to take him in for a thorough exam if he continues to decline. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

[Lyn Bailey]

Hi, I wanted to get back to you as my cat died last Friday, leaving his sister from the same litter behind (both were age 10 orientals). Our cats never really went outside, and we don't have any children, so our home has been devastatingly full of sadness. I was extremely concerned for my other cat, as Khai died away from home, and she had no way of knowing of his death, and she very quickly started to decline. In the past 3 days she has hardly eaten, and is constantly treading, purring strongly, and crying out. During the past 24 hours, we have done nothing but fuss her, make sure that she is warm, and give her all of the love and fuss that we can find within oursleves whilst grieving for the loss that we are both consumed with. In the past few hours, she seems so much better, that in turn we do, and the 'mood of the house' has lifted slightly which I am sure was affecting her.........from all of the help and advice that I received, I am finding that the only affect on her behaviour is our reassurance and care for her....

[MA]

I know that in sharing this, it is going to conjure up in some folk's heads visions of a rubber room, but if you ask your cat if you can talk to him/her, put her on your lap facing you and tell her about the sudden death, just talk it out.......well it really seems to help them, and it is good for your soul as well.

You both have my heart for your loss.....

[Pat S.]

Oh, Angela, I'm so sorry for your loss and Minute's loss! I've been through that a number of times, and it's never easy.

I've had several cats who were particularly attached, just like humans, and we know that in humans, a death in the family is one of the most stressful life events.

When I've gotten a new kitten or cat to keep the remaining cat company, I discovered that you just can't orchestrate a new relationship to replace the old one.

I hope you all find comfort in the next days and weeks.

[Angela]

Thanks for your nice words. It's funny because today I was thinking maybe a new girlfriend would help him. But now that I think about it, it just might cause more stress and cause his health to fail more. His little heart is pretty weak right now, so I just try to keep him calm and quiet. Thanks again for your nice thoughts. Pet lovers are really the BEST kind of people!
Angela

[Andyck]

My heart aches for you and I send you lots of ((((HUGS))))

Our kitties are such wonderful and special creatures. They know and feel more than we realize, and are connected in ways that we will probably never comprehend. Losing a sibling, playmate, or snuggle buddy can be very traumatic for the surviving kitty(s), and Minute needs some extra love and support to help him through this.

I may be in the same rubber room as MA, but I believe in talking to Minute and sharing your thoughts and feelings with him. Holding him close, talking to him about Mimi, and sharing your grief with him, will help both of you. I will always remember the night I held Sabrina so close and told her that her sister Tortie had crossed over the Bridge and would not be coming home. I talked to her for a long time and suddenly she reached up with her paw and touched my cheek and I knew she understood. Right now Minute needs your love and support, not another kitty.

I’m sending you and Minute lots of Purrayers!!!!

[Angela]

Thank you all for your support. I'm glad I'm not alone in understanding the sensitivity of kitties. Which brings me to a horrible subject, My husband is jealous of my dead and dying cats!!! Help! Has anyone else experienced this? This might be a subject for another message board, but do I need a divorce? He actually picked a fight w/ me THE DAY I put my Mimi down , saying I don't pay enough attention to HIM! Could he be more insensitive? Who the heck did I marry? And now that it looks like Minute might be getting ready to join Mimi -he's picking a fight again. Is there anyone else who has had this experience or is my husband the biggest jerk/baby in the world? Thanks and sorry for my angry words.
Angela