A Letter To The Dogs :-)

DeVon · Post by **DeVon** » Fri May 23, 2003 12:09 pm

Dear Dogs:

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with
each other so there are still three dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

When I am playing on the computer, jumping up and trying to type for me is not helpful.

Barking at me because I'm not helping you achieve your goal does not win you any extra brownie points.

I have not buried your toys my flower pots!

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, and then go sniff the other dogs. I can not stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you guys to make.

Dog Mom

PetLuvR · Post by **PetLuvR** » Fri May 23, 2003 4:01 pm

that was really very cute and oh so true!

ShelbysMom · Post by **ShelbysMom** » Fri May 23, 2003 4:06 pm

Very cute! If they ever do come out with a larger than king-sized bed, they should advertise it on this board first.
Lots of takers here.

momPaws · Post by **momPaws** » Fri May 23, 2003 8:31 pm

sweet and clever- can identify

TheSkeptic · Post by **TheSkeptic** » Sat May 24, 2003 1:36 pm

Stop spying on my house! [-(

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