I really need your help w/ something. I have a big problem and I don't know what to do!
Ok, so I have two cats. I have my black cat who my husband and I got right after we got married about a year 1/2 ago, and then I have my calico that we got last May.
Well, my calico is a very sweet, loving good natured little cat. She is always loving up on me and sitting in my lap, laying in the bed w/ me....wherever I am, she follows. She's just precious. And she is so well-behaved. I hardly ever have to get onto her, and if I ever see her doing something wrong, all I have to do is say "No" from across the room and she's stops and doesn't do it again......
Ok, well my black cat is a TOTALLY different story. Ever since she was little, she has been totally destructive. A day hardly goes by where she hasn't knocked a glass of the kitchen counter, or a picture frame off a end table, or something else. She is ALWAYS doing things she isn't supposed to do, climbing on everything she isn't supposed to climb on, etc. And there is NO disciplining her!!!! I've tried different forms of punishment, yet she always goes back to her misbehaving. And sometimes instead of pooping in her litter box, she'll just go in the floor right beside it! I mean, what's the point of that!?! And she throws up all the time!!
What happened this morning just really put the icing on the cake....
I got up at about 5:00am or a little earlier and was thirsty, so I headed for the kitchen. When I walked in the living room, I saw one of my most beautiful and expensive picture frames that I got for my wedding shattered into about a million peices on the floor!!!!! And a lamp was laying beside it as well w/ the bulb shattered. And they were both on top of the entertainment center! I don't even know how she got up there!! And I KNOW it was not my other one, b/c she's too little to get up there, and plus, I just know my cats and Tigger (my calico) would never even try to get on the entertainment center.
I am just so frusurated and PISSED OFF at her!!! That frame was so beautiful and no telling how much it costs. It was gift. It was all glass.
I just didn't know what to do! I couldn't exactly punish her...she wouldn't have understood why, since it happened in the middle of the night....I was just so upset!!
Then I went and laid back down and my little calico came and layed on my chest like she knew something was wrong.
I just burst into tears. I don't know what to do w/ her! I can't handle her destroying my house like this! It's really stressing me out!
I hate to get rid of her, but I just don't have the bond w/ her like I have w/ Tigger. She never tries to love on me and she is always just keeping to herself.
I know it's wrong to play favorites, but they are like polar opposites and Tigger is so well-mannered.
I really would like to find her a good home, so she can quit destroying mine! But I don't know ANYONE that would take her. Everyone I know already has either an inside cat or a dog, already. And she has been a inside cat since she was about 5 weeks old! I just can't give her to someone that I know would keep her outside....
All she has ever known is me. I am so torn as to what to do about this. She can't keep destroying my house like this. And another thing - I just found out that I am pregnant. And what will happen when the baby comes? I refuse to take the risk of her knocking something over onto my baby or something else like that....
I just don't know what to do w/ her. No matter what, I know I'm going to feel so guilty. We've had her for a year and a half.
Can anyone offer some advice or something?
Thanks for listening.
P.S. ~ And please spare me the advice of "take her to the VET!"...I know! I have asked the vet about this before. Nothing works. Trust me. Getting rid of her is a last resort! But it's come down to that. She is perfectly healthy and does NOT need to see a vet. So any advice other than "see a vet" would be greatly appreciated.
Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
Well I'm going to ask anyway. When was the last time she had an exam. The thought only crossed my mind because you mentioned she vomits. Is it actual food? hairballs? bile?lovemyfurbabies wrote: P.S. ~ And please spare me the advice of "take her to the VET!"...I know! I have asked the vet about this before. Nothing works. Trust me. Getting rid of her is a last resort! But it's come down to that. She is perfectly healthy and does NOT need to see a vet. So any advice other than "see a vet" would be greatly appreciated.
Do you know this for sure? My kittens jump as high as my shoulders sometimes and I'm 5'3". My older/bigger cats no longer jump that high. Is there anything around the entertainment center for them to scale to get to the top? One of my cats used to get to the top of my corner curio and this worried me because she'd brace her back legs against the glass doors as she went up. I've since moved the couch that was near the cabinet to a different area in the living room and there is no longer a way for them to get to the top of it ... unless they throw on a red cape and fly up in one single bound.lovemyfurbabies wrote:And they were both on top of the entertainment center! I don't even know how she got up there!! And I KNOW it was not my other one, b/c she's too little to get up there, and plus, I just know my cats and Tigger (my calico) would never even try to get on the entertainment center.
The other thing I'll add -- and I don't know if it's true but with our experience here makes sense. My first cat Keeks is a black cat; her brother Bella is a golden tabby. Keeks loves me on her own terms, when she's in the mood and if she feels like it. Bella is glued to ankles, in your face first thing in the morning and constantly meowing, talking and tagging along. Both my sister and our vet said that tabbies were more sensitive. Now, with my 4 kittens, 3 that are dark girls (black, tuxedo, tortie) and 1 boy (orange tabby) I see the difference. The girls are lovey but do their own thing too. The boy is up my butt all the time, he's very needy.
What kind of punishment are you implementing? Squirt bottle and a time out in the bathroom is all that is needed here and I have seven cats total. That's not to say I haven't come home to a lamp that has been tossed, but for the most part I have cleared the dressers and counters and put away my most treasured items. I did this when I got my first cat 4 years ago and put everything back out a year or so ago when I knew the antics had ceased. Now with the kittens & their mom - a very unexpected addition - things have gone away for the time being. My sister has done the same thing but mostly since her son started walking.
If it comes down to you having to give your black cat away, ask your vet if they know of anyone looking to welcome an indoor only cat to their home. Maybe you can put a flyer up in their office. By all means interview anyone and everyone first to ensure the home & environment will be a close duplicate to yours.
I know it's frustrating and when sentimental things are destroyed, heartbreaking but materialistic things can be replaced; your furbaby cannot. This is not to take away from the value of your frames, sentimental and monetarily, but again perhaps packing certain things away will save you from allot of heartache. You can also try tin foil or that two sided sticky stuff placed around the edges of the top of your entertainment center to deter whomever from jumping up there.
You're not alone in this frustration. We have all gone through it and will continue to do so as long as we commit our lives and homes to these precious animals.
Cleo
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
For one thing I think you need to calm down some, they can feel your stress. And sorry you don't want to hear it but if vomitting and pooping outside the litterbox, from everything I've ever read on here, you need to see vet immediately. Sounds like you've already made up your mind to give away so I won't try to change it, except to say some cats are friskier than others and may be acting out because of jealousy about your feelings for Tigger. Please see your vet and go from there. Wanda
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Phoebe's human
- Posts: 248
- Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2004 2:09 pm
- Location: Portland, OR
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
I agree with what Wanda and Cleo have said here.
Some cats just ARE inclined to tear around and get into things, break things, spill things, destroy things. But since you say your problem cat vomits a lot, I think this is cause for concern. If it's just the occasional hairball, that's usually not a problem, but vomiting a lot for no known reason is a problem that needs looking into. Your cat could be trying to tell you she's not feeling well.
With so much vomiting, are you sure she isn't losing weight? You can weigh her yourself--no need to take her to the vet. If you want to get a general idea of her weight, and you don't have a pet scales, you can use a "human" scales, weigh yourself, then weigh yourself holding your cat.
If she's losing weight, I'm sorry but you really should see a vet. You could try changing her diet first, maybe.
As for the destruction, the only answer if ordinary discipline doesn't work, is to put the things you value away.
When Baby comes, you'll find you have to do that anyway, for a long time.
You probably should try to fence off the cats' area from the baby's area for quite a while if that is possible. There are swinging gates you can install in doorways, for instance. You can come and go but the cats can't.
If you think having two cats and a baby might be too much (and a lot of new moms would think that's a lot to cope with), you might want to look around carefully for a new home for your problem cat. You could be choosy and hold out until you find a home and a human that look right for her.
Some cats just ARE inclined to tear around and get into things, break things, spill things, destroy things. But since you say your problem cat vomits a lot, I think this is cause for concern. If it's just the occasional hairball, that's usually not a problem, but vomiting a lot for no known reason is a problem that needs looking into. Your cat could be trying to tell you she's not feeling well.
With so much vomiting, are you sure she isn't losing weight? You can weigh her yourself--no need to take her to the vet. If you want to get a general idea of her weight, and you don't have a pet scales, you can use a "human" scales, weigh yourself, then weigh yourself holding your cat.
If she's losing weight, I'm sorry but you really should see a vet. You could try changing her diet first, maybe.
As for the destruction, the only answer if ordinary discipline doesn't work, is to put the things you value away.
When Baby comes, you'll find you have to do that anyway, for a long time.
You probably should try to fence off the cats' area from the baby's area for quite a while if that is possible. There are swinging gates you can install in doorways, for instance. You can come and go but the cats can't.
If you think having two cats and a baby might be too much (and a lot of new moms would think that's a lot to cope with), you might want to look around carefully for a new home for your problem cat. You could be choosy and hold out until you find a home and a human that look right for her.
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4furbabiesinall
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
Hi, I was wanting to give away one of my cats because of her overagressiveness towards my new kitty. We lasted 8 months in chaos. Finally the problem was solved when I moved us from an apartment to a house, where everyone has a larger territory. Maybe your rambunctious one needs more space. I also think she really needs your affection, but does not know how to get it.
cheers, Lisa
cheers, Lisa
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
I have a whole bunch of suggestions 
1. get a separate litter tray. your "Black cat" may need her own space. i hope that you try this because i think it may solve your litter box problem. your black cat definetly sounds like the "top cat", by top cat i mean the dominant one and sometimes your top cat will not appreaciate having to share her litter box with the other. if this does solve the crisis make sure tigger doesn't start using the other one too...
2. i have tree cats and everytime we got a new one our top cat bobbie would start throwing up. when we got the last she would actually come right up to me and throw up. it didn't click until a couple of vet bills later when i realised that everytime i took her to the vet she would have my undivided attention for at least the next 3 days till i was sure she was ok again....
3. you need a serious amount of double sided tape. put it one everything you don't want your cats to touch. everything. this will stop a lot of your top cats climbing etc...
4. but you need to be fair; now with everything double sided taped and no where to climb you need to provide an alternative.... if you have a really expenzive frame i'm guessing you can afford a really nice cat tree for your cat who likes to climb:) assuming that you do not have any you need to get some. obviously top cat is an active cat and needs to climb. you may even need two or three... we had three and we only live in an apartment. at first you may need to encourage top cat to use it.
5. then you need to get some toys and devote about 30minutes a day to your top cat. from what you have said it really really does sound like top cat is really trying to ghet your attention. for you, i guess you would like to be able to give the same kind of attention to top cat that you give to tigger... who wouldn't LOVE two snuggly cats... only thing is NOT al cats are snuggle cats but that doesn't mean that you can't bond with them. bonding just means understanding and right now i think that you and top cat are misreading each other...
6. you may also want to get a book like "cat watching"... this will explain your cats behaviour to you and thus you will have a much much better understanding of your top cat.
7. don't throw in the towel yet.... there are posts on this board about owners who have put up with warring cats and other disasters that are no where near as serious as your problem.... all you need is a little bit of patience and ... a few catty things.
good luck
1. get a separate litter tray. your "Black cat" may need her own space. i hope that you try this because i think it may solve your litter box problem. your black cat definetly sounds like the "top cat", by top cat i mean the dominant one and sometimes your top cat will not appreaciate having to share her litter box with the other. if this does solve the crisis make sure tigger doesn't start using the other one too...
2. i have tree cats and everytime we got a new one our top cat bobbie would start throwing up. when we got the last she would actually come right up to me and throw up. it didn't click until a couple of vet bills later when i realised that everytime i took her to the vet she would have my undivided attention for at least the next 3 days till i was sure she was ok again....
3. you need a serious amount of double sided tape. put it one everything you don't want your cats to touch. everything. this will stop a lot of your top cats climbing etc...
4. but you need to be fair; now with everything double sided taped and no where to climb you need to provide an alternative.... if you have a really expenzive frame i'm guessing you can afford a really nice cat tree for your cat who likes to climb:) assuming that you do not have any you need to get some. obviously top cat is an active cat and needs to climb. you may even need two or three... we had three and we only live in an apartment. at first you may need to encourage top cat to use it.
5. then you need to get some toys and devote about 30minutes a day to your top cat. from what you have said it really really does sound like top cat is really trying to ghet your attention. for you, i guess you would like to be able to give the same kind of attention to top cat that you give to tigger... who wouldn't LOVE two snuggly cats... only thing is NOT al cats are snuggle cats but that doesn't mean that you can't bond with them. bonding just means understanding and right now i think that you and top cat are misreading each other...
6. you may also want to get a book like "cat watching"... this will explain your cats behaviour to you and thus you will have a much much better understanding of your top cat.
7. don't throw in the towel yet.... there are posts on this board about owners who have put up with warring cats and other disasters that are no where near as serious as your problem.... all you need is a little bit of patience and ... a few catty things.
good luck
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CatNap
Re: Major, major, MAJOR cat problem!!!!!
One of my 5 cats, number 4 actually, sounds a lot like your destructive one. He was into everything for nearly 2 years and it drove me mad. He is 4 now and MUCH calmer, so I think in time the cat will calm down. This cat, Skippy, wouldn't stay off the counters and table and would get on everyone's plate and try to eat their food, knock anything off or over possible. As far as your pregnancy and baby, congratulations! I wouldn't worry about the cat and the baby. My number 1 cat, Chucky, is a complete devil most of the time, but I love him just the same. When my first child was born, he was 2 but he has been fine with my children, surprisingly. Everyone told me to get rid of him before the first child was born but I refused and it has worked out. He's definitely not a people person and doesn't like anyone but my husband or myself but he leaves the kids alone AND they know not to mess with him lol. I have a 4 yr old daughter and 2 yr old son, my son is just now learning. Good luck to you, but I have one more piece of advice...have you thought of maybe putting the destructive cat in a secure room at night while you sleep? Just a thought and good luck!