anti-social cat

[guest]

my friend has a cat and i am at her house alot. i really like the cat alot but the cat seems to have no intrest in me or anyone else in the house really. If i come into the house and the cat see's me he makes sure to come into the same room and observe whats going on. he will allow me to pet his head only and only for about 10 seconds at most, then he just walks away like he has something more important to do. it's like he always wants to be around you as long as you don't pay attention to him. also people in the house have observed that the cat is quite a bit meaner during the day than at night and tends to sleep alot during the day. also i have noticed that if the cat is under a blanker, inside a small hole.. or anything like that he seems to not mind me petting him. i really like the cat alot and would just like to be able to "communicate" with the cat, so to speak. but it seems like the cat wants nothing to do with me unless it's strictly on his terms.... and one last thing. i've considered maybe letting the cat outside and see if maybe he is just lonely and needs to get out every once in a while, is this a bad idea? i've heard that cats will always come home but that's quite a risk to take... any help or advice would be greatly appreciated... thank you, steve

[Traci]

Forgive me for asking, but if this is your friend's cat, why are you so concerned about his attitude for you? Also, since this *is* your friend's cat, you are not in the position to let him outdoors. (read thisplease.)

Cats will instinctively choose or seek out people they are comfortable with. He may not be comfortable with you, if he isn't, then don't force it with him, it has to be at his convenience.

[guest]

i'm not necessarily concerned about the cat, i have talked to the owners about his odd behavior, i wasn't going to actually just let the cat go... i thought i was just getting someones opinion on wether or not it was a good idea, a topic i've also discussed with the owner. suggestions about how to get the cat to be more friendly would have been nice but that was sufficient

[Guest]

I don't know if you'll come back to read this or not but I've had some anti-social cats myself over the years. One in particular is now 5 years old. He was very anti-social as a kitten and like your friend's cat, would stay in the room until we paid attention to him; then he would leave. It seemed very rude of him but cats are strange that way, you never know what they may be thinking. Anyway, I decided I would just go sit near him and not touch him and I did this a lot. If he were on the bed then I would go on the bed, just not too close. He came around but it took probably 6 months or so. Now he's a lap cat but mostly to me. My kids didn't have the patience to get to know him on his terms but even still, the cat will sit on either of them if I'm not around. It's just something you may want to try of have your friends try. I think it's mostly a matter of trust and some cats have a harder time with that than others.

[Victoria]

Cats hate being made a fuss of if they're not in the mood. My cat is very sociable and will walk straight up to anyone. But the more you ignore a cat who doesn't want to be ignored, the more chance you will have of it changing its mind or coming over to investigate you. Maybe it just is an antisocial cat, doesn't much like company (yours or anyone else's) and is happy that way, like some humans can be!

[milosmommy]

Every cat has its own personality. They are just like people.
I had a kitty a few years ago who used to bite and kick if you paid attention to her. However, if you ignored her she would come and lay next to you or sit on the couch behind your head. She was a big fan of the kitten toy balls - we used to play fetch. Its best not to chase the cat, just let it do its thing.

[Victoria]

Yes it's a cross between how they are naturally & how they were raised, the same as with a person. I raised my cat from 15 days old and she is like a little dog - plays fetch, likes play fighting, likes the water - she is used to being handled a lot so enjoys it. She was a rescue cat so I wonder if she'd been left in the wild if she'd be the same.

[Rebecca]

My 3 year old cat hates to be petted, unless she initiates the petting. She doesn't have much to do with me unless I play with her, no petting. She will get close to my husband, let him pet her when he lays on the couch.

I wonder if it's because I had her declawed and "fixed"... maybe she associates pain to me because I am the one who takes her to the vet. I hope she was not in any pain, but I have heard "tales" about declawing, which I did not know before.

Do some breeds show more affection than other breeds? I know every breed is different. My cats hardly ever meows, and I know other breeds seems to be louder, constantly meowing.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.