Did I bring home the wrong cat?

[Kristi]

My cat has been missing since Oct 12th 2003. I called the city and county road people and neither of them ever picked him up dead. He was 6 years old and never went father then 3 houses down from home. Then one day I went to the store, came back and he was gone. I went to the shelter on Sat and saw a cat. It was his age, looked exactly like him in size, color, shape and all. He was even a neutered male like mine which I didn't know until after I was sure it was him by how he acted. . I have 2 other cats at home. With one they hiss when they walk by each other but do not try to fight at all. With the other (my female) cat attacks the one we just brought home with out warning. She has 11 week old kittens at the house too. If the one I brought home is my cat I lost, he raised the one that is attacking from day one. We have also replaced the carpet since my cat has been missing so there will be little to no scent of him in the house. So my question is... Is this normal after 3 months? Did I bring home the wrong cat do you think? Everyone except my husband says they believe it is him. Is it possible my other cat forgot about him or that she is being aggressive only because of the kittens? Is there a way to tell for sure by way of animal behavior? I wasn't so sure when I brought him home because he went in my sons room and hide. Then today he comes out, jumps in his spot on the back of the couch (where he used to lay every day) and layed down. Your input would be so greatly appreciated. If it is not him I can't keep him. If it is him my female cat is very aggressive to him ( He won't fight her back either and he is 3 times her size). Thank you so so much for your help, Kristi

[Sun & Star's Mom]

Hi Kristi,
One thing I can tell you... I have 2 cats that I adopted 3 years ago as kittens, and they are (were?) inseparable. NEVER left each other's side, slept in one "clump", etc. I had to leave my one cat at the vet's for a couple of days last week. Upon his return, the other cat hissed whenever he walked by him! That lasted a few days (and broke my heart). It's been over a week now, and they are starting to tolerate each other again, but still not back to their original relationship. So, I can only imagine that a 3 month separation would be much harder!

[MA]

Hopefully you have the right cat, but this cat has many alien smells on him now, from living outside, and your cats do not yet recognize him. You can help them to get along by putting vanilla extract under their chins, between their shoulder blades and on the base of their tails. A little bit goes a long way. You can also invest in rescue remedy and put some in their water or food, as well as buy a Comfort Zone Room diffuser by Farnum Pet and start running that as well.

Was there any recognition between you and him when you saw him? Although he would initially be in shock, he should have responded to you in a familiar fashion after a few days.

[Susan and the girls]

I have to agree with the other posters. As frustrating as this is, sometimes it happens when one cat has been away for a while. New smells = new cat in their minds. As much as we sometimes like to "humanize" them, they don't remember faces that well, and even if they've known each other for years, those strange smells can wreak havoc on their recall. They really go by the sense of smell. Also, those new kittens shed a WHOLE new light on things. That mama cat is saying, "Who the heck are you, you different-smelling cat, and why are you around my babies??"

Traci recommended to me once to put cornstarch on my kitties when they started a freakish dislike of each other out of the blue. They looked like ghosts for a few days, and I really think it helped a little. In my case, no one had been outside or anything like that - no reason in the world to start the hissing - but I was willing to try anything. (And they were upset at the very sight of each other from rooms apart! They didn't have to be close enough to smell each other to get upset!)

(Oh - and an update on my crazy hissing cats - they're doing much better now. I still don't know why they acted that way, and probably never will, and they still occasionally hiss and get all upset, but overall things are better!)

It also helps to let them re-establish their own rules with your supervison. Don't leave them together while you're not there, or you may have a REAL situation on your hands. But while you're at home, give them space and time together so they can figure out who's who all over again. It will take time - believe me.... Mine started acting out just after Thanksgiving, and it hasn't been until the last week or so that they can be in the same room with contented looks on their faces. (And then out of the blue they'll still act up and we have to start over again....) Don't scold unless they get into *real* fights. The hissing will happen, whether you like it or not, for a while.

Just be patient. I know you're thrilled to have your kitty back after he has been gone for so long. I'm so glad there was a happy ending with him being returned to you! I know it's stressful to have the kitties not getting along, but just be patient. Good luck, and keep us posted!