So she simply said "look, if she's too much responsibility for you I'll just find her a new home" to which he said "that might be best" in a snotty tone...and that was it..he said no more and in order to keep from killing him she left. We've changed her name back to Wicket, I don't think she like the name Amber (nothing wrong with the name, just the person who gave it to her)...since Bridget called me and told me this tonight and hubby announced that she was no longer Amber but Wicket again she has become amazingly calm and sweet!! It's like she knows for sure now that she doesn't have to go back there 
Got one lead on a possible home, but so far they haven't called me...keep your fingers crossed lest we add another permanent addition to our fray
Thanks for all the prayers and support over this dilemma...all's working out for the best at least
Besides, Wicket is a much better name!