Letter to the cats... if only they could read, or can they?
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with one another so there are still three cats in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the end of the hall is not the
object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.
My cell phone cord is not black licorice.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
The bathroom sink is for washing hands and was not meant to be your personal water fountain. I'm tired of
being summoned to the bathroom when you are ready for a drink. The bowl of water in the kitchen is not
contaminated and has no floaters! So from now on you will drink from there... I put fresh water in daily!
