My cat does not like me :(

[monas_madali@msn.com]

Hi everyone!

I am new to this board and really need some help. I have a gray tabby male cat who is approx 3 years old. Had him since he was 7-8 weeks old. He is the runt of his litter but I think still given plenty of affection from the adoption agency that I got him at (his brothers and sisters got plenty of affection).

I noticed even before he turned 1 that he always liked my husband better than me and even treats him differently. He absolutely adores my husband and follows him around all the time. Wants to be held and petted, and climbs on his lap, purrs for him, sleeps against him and lately leans against his head. My husband can pretty much do anything to this cat that he wants and the cat allows it, though sometimes whines to be put down if picked up or played with.

Me on the other hand, the cat seems to have a problem with. Doesn't like me to touch him most of the time, though there are rare occasions when he doesn't mind. He didn't act this way when he was a very young kitten. He doesn't like any affection from me at all. If I go to stroke his head or pet him (even when he is calm and relaxed), after about 15 seconds or so, he will push me away with his paw, sometimes bite or scratch or even hiss. Lately when I pick him up he wines to get put down. When he gets in trouble and I yell at him, he gets aggressive sometimes and has a slapping confrontation with me (he slaps me with his paws, sometimes scratches and bites, then hisses) and it ends with him biting my ankle.

I have had pets before and I am very gentle and kind and loving to them. I spoil this cat and give him plenty of affection, I play with him, buy him toys and treats (something my husband would never do). Ironically, he does like to play and meows very loudly in the early morning to be played with (I am the only one home at the time). He likes to play with my feet and my hands, and can be very bity and scratchy.

There has been times that he has hissed at me like 3 times in one day. Sometimes all I have to do is practically look at him or walk near him. I wonder sometimes if he is just cranky or in a mood or if I am doing something.

I don't know what to do to make this cat treat me the same as he treats my husband and be nice and show me affection as well. Some have told me that maybe he just prefers men. Still, it hurts my feelings.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks!

Melissa

[Traci]

Cats generall tend to prefer one human they bond with, so don't be disappointed your kitty prefers your husband. It could also be due to any incident where he associates the incident with you and may be slightly fearful or distrusting of you.

Don't yell at him. If he gets in trouble, simply voice a stern "NO", or use a squirt bottle so he associates the behavior will not earn him a reward.

Do not allow him to slap his paws with you, this is only encouraging the behavior. When he does that, immediately divert his attention to a toy, or a playtime activity. If he bites or scratches, same as above, a stern "NO", followed by a squirt from the squirt bottle. With consistency, he will learn that biting/etc is not appropriate.

DO reward him for good behavior by spending more quality time with him. Take short naps with him. Spend time with him engaging yourself in a playtime activity with him, do this every single day.

If your husband does some of the caretaking, feeding, litterbox duty, etc, take those on yourself so that your kitty understands it is YOU who are the caretaker and are providing for his needs.

You have to find things, toys, playtime activity, or simple quiet time so that he associates pleasant experiences with you.