Maggie is gone

[Sparkly]

I'm posting for my wife who has posted here before about our Maggie and her seizures. Early this morning we had to have her euthanized. Maggie started having seizures every 12 hours on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, lasted about 2 or 3 mins, but she started having them every half hour Monday night and so after the third one, we went to the vet er. She had a couple of seizures there too. We talked about more medication and adding more. Even with the meds that kinda knocked her out, Maggie was still having seizures. The vet asked if Maggie had done any circling not related to the after phase, and yes, she had been circling a lot in the house and stuff. My wife asked what circling meant in terms of Maggie's history and the vet said it can be related to a brain tumor. They were willing to give her supportive care overnight and keep on dosing her with more and different meds & they could even intubate her and anesthetize her if things got worse just to get her to the next day so we could bring her to our own vet, or to start loading her up on more meds if we decided to take her home. Even when she was knocked out she kept having seizures. We considered the new circling behavior, how even "out of it" her body kept having seizures, and we knew that loading her up was just postponing things and we thought things had come to a point where we had to made a decision about what was best for her and thought her quality of live would be greatly compromised with more meds. After she went to the Bridge, the ER vet said it was really the best choice, because if we had gone home, or taken her home, we'd be back within an hour or two because her condition was worsening. I hope that isn't just what people are taught to say in these situations. I guess I need to know from others that we DID do the right thing at the right time.

[slvrwhispr]

Of course you did the right thing. You made a compassionate decision out of love and respect for your beloved pet. It wasn't easy. Anyone who's had to make the decision always wonders if it was the right thing, but the truth is, if sweet Maggie was suffering, you did what was right by her. She's at peace now, and she was loved 'til the end.

*HUGS* I'm sorry you had to say goodbye.

[Traci]

Sparkly's husband,

I am so very truly sorry to learn of this turn of events.

I have a great deal of experience in seizure cases and I can and will tell you in confidence that you did what was best for Maggie.

I was not expecting at this point that the seizures would take a turn for the worse, and I was not certain this was even related to a brain tumor, but we knew that this was also unpredictable and I feel it was worth every attempt to try to control the seizures. Mrs. Sparkly's accounting of Maggie's condition would most likely warrant the same treatment by many vets, this is the nature of seizures and their treatment, since many are idiopathic and we attempt to do whatever we can to control them, yet provide quality of life.

That Maggie developed cluster seizures and they worsened considerably in a short amount of time, rather necessitated giving her a peaceful release. It is not always the best thing to keep administering more and higher doses of medications when it is clearly not controlling the seizures and perhaps doing more harm than good. In mild cases, yes, when we can most often actually control them and the pet leads an otherwise normal and functional life (as this seemed to be early on in Maggie's treatment). But, in those last days for Maggie, she was most likely unaware and that is not what we consider quality of life.

It is entirely possible those seizures could have lead to a coma, or worse, which you did not want Maggie to suffer, nor yourselves in feeling you had no control over the situation.

I am so very very heartbroken for you, I know that you and Mrs. Sparkly went above and beyond in the hopes of getting Maggie's seizures to a controllable level. You gave her your ultimate best, and Maggie knew that, please don't feel any remorse for your decisions, please don't rack yourselves with guilt - Maggie knew and felt your love for her and she knew you were doing everything you could do.

****TEARS****....Safe and gentle journey, sweet sweet Maggie, you will never be forgotten. ((((((HUGS))))))

[k9Karen]

Most of us here at CatHelp know your pain from first-hand experience. I think all, or at least most of us, have wondered if we did the right thing in situations similar to yours. I don't know if the wondering ever really goes away, but please know that you made the most compassionate choice for your Maggie. You showed her how much you loved her by taking away her pain. I'm so sorry you have to go through this - I know from personal esperience how extremely difficult and heartbreaking it is.

Run free sweet Maggie - you will be missed.

[Sparkly]

Thank you slvrwhispr, Traci and Karen for your kind words to Mr. Sparkly and me. We've had many moments today of just bursting into tears, missing her so much. The little ones kinda sense something is different, but really, they are in their own little Bichon worlds.

Traci, your kind and compassionate words were especially comforting to me and the mister. I am forever grateful for that and because you speak from having so much experience with seizure cases and there was so much comfort in your post.

I am so glad we happened to have a bit of vanilla ice cream (her special favorite treat) that we gave her on Sunday and Monday night.

She was well loved. She will be greatly missed. I think I can still hear her sometimes, and when glancing at the couch, I mistake the dark blanket for her...just for a split moment, a nanosecond really, I believe she is once again home with us.

Again, thank you all.
The Sparkly Family

[Traci]

I hope you can find comfort that you are not alone, each of us here have suffered the loss of loved ones, and although the pain is unbearable, the pain does lessen in time and is replaced with the fondest of memories. Try to concentrate and reflect on the good times with Maggie, those are the memories that will help your hearts heal.

Maggie will always be with you, in spirit, and forever in your hearts. I look at it as not necessarily a hole in your heart, but a piece of your heart that Maggie took with her onto her journey.

(((((HUGS)))))

[Cleo]

You are definitely not alone. I hope you find peace with your decision as well as knowing you gave Maggie the best life. In the end, you also gave her the ultimate gift of letting her go to the Bridge to once again to run free of all troubles.

Prayers to you and yours for peace and comfort during this difficult time.