My sweet Willow went to the Rainbow Bridge

[momPaws]

Hugs for you, too, Cleo - so sorry about Simon.

[Tina B and crew]

Oh Cleo...I am so sorry...it is so very tough to lose them when they are young and when it is unexpected. The hurt is almost unbearable...

[Tina B and crew]

I've lost pets over the yearz..in fact Willow is the third cat we have had die in the last 3 and a half years, but none has ever hurt so much as loosing my precious Willow. I know that the grief that I have been going through is just being compounded, but there is something about losing her so suddenly and unexpectedly that I am having a very hard time with. I don't want to be here. Everywhere I look she should be there. She slept at my feet every single night I was at home...EVERY night. She never slept anywhere else. She wouldn't get up in the morning until she heard me stirring and then she would walk up the bed to my pillow and greet me. She always greeted me when I came home, would come when I called, gave me the most gentle kitty kisses, and spent numerous hours snuggling on my lap. It was her favorite place. If I had to leave for overnight she would get in my suitcase and give me this look of "please don't go mommy!" and it would break my heart. She always forgave me when I came home, even after my 3 months in Greece. I am just so heartbroken right now and if feels as if it will never heal. Honestly, this is almost worse than what I went through when I lost my daddy. I think it's because Willow was a daily presence, always there, always accepting, always loving, always comforting. I miss her so much I almost feel as if I can't go on... I can't eat, don't feel like drinking, can't sleep. My body aches, my head hurts. I can't bond with Chunk right now because there was always an issue of him coming between me and Willow and now that she's gone I feel like a traitor. I know that is not logical and it isn't Chunk's fault she is gone. He's missing her too. He keeps looking for her in her usual places, waiting for her to come pitterpattering down the hallway. I keep waiting for that too. I know I should be celebrating life...I had a wonderful 8 years with her filled with so much love, pressies, kitty kisses and lap snuggles. I thought I'd have another 8 at least. I am angry because life keeps throwing me so many difficult things to get through. Willow was the one thing that comforted me in all this. I miss her so very much

Please tell me what I'm feeling is normal and not strange?

[k9Karen]

What you are feeling is extremely normal. Believe me, you are not strange. Angel would dance when I came home - not an easy thing for a dog with severe hip dysplasia. She's been gone almost 3 years and I still miss her greeting me at the door dancing.

The ten stages of grief
http://www.vcvs.org/10stagegrief.htm
This particular site is for victims of violent crimes, but I think it explains things very well. I hope it helps

[Cleo]

What you're feeling is exactly what I'm still going through Tina. It took me at least a full week before I started eating again and it still isn't much. The only time I'm not crying is when I am sleeping and even then, wake myself up crying in my sleep. I got a prescription for a tranquilizer just to get through this. I'm so sorry about your other losses too and that your grief is compounded.

I've shared my grief with very few people because no one truly understands the bond we have with our furbabies. Someone with pets even said to me, well you have so many others. WTF does that have to do with losing the ONE?! Each one of our animals is unique and special in their own way, with their own personalities, quirks and comforts. Simon loved shredded cheese and as soon as he heard the package open, he'd come running. I haven't been able to eat it and probably won't for a long time.

I'm sorry you can't bond with Chunk right now but believe me, he's feeling the pain just as much. I am the opposite, if anything I am giving the rest of the crew here too much love and attention. Actually, is there such a thing? One of the cats felt the loss as soon as it happened, a few others a day or two later. His mama, my Gwen realized it by that weekend and she's been really depressed and hardly eating so I need to keep a watch on her. My mom thinks they are reacting to my depression but you can almost see the confusion in their faces.

If ever I thought life sucked, I'm more than convinced of it now. I was always one to not to dwell thinking no matter how bad I had it, someone out there has it a lot worse. Well right now, I don't give a rat's tail about anyone else. I want my boy back. I want my home complete like it was. I know you do too. I'm so sorry.

Thank you for that link Karen.

[Tina B and crew]

Oh Cleo, it is so nice to be able to find someone who understands me. You said several things that hit home and could have come out of my mouth. Yes, life does suck. Yes I love the fact that I have a beautiful new grandson, that I have a roof over my head, that I have a wonderful husband, and a funny lovable young cat in the house. But aside from all that my daily life is filled with the fact that I no longer have my little Oosta to snuggle on my lap, sleep at my feet, comfort me when I'm down. Chunk had a little snuggle with me earlier and while I appreciate it and took comfort in it, it really just seemed to hit home that it wasn't Willow. Our bond was that strong. I haven't eaten since the night Willow was still with me. I can still hear the sound she made, the yowl and the growl as you put it was spot on, I can still remember the feeling I got that something wasn't right and thinking that I might have hurt her. Then the shock of moving the covers and finding her limp body underneath. Desperately giving her mouth to nose, pumping on her little chest, begging her to come back to me. I have never lost a child, but to me this feels about as bad as it could be losing a child. I CHOSE Willow to be a part of my life. The day I first say her I knew she was a special cat, and important life, and that she was destined to be a part of my life. I never suspected that it would be cut short. I've loved ALL of my pets with all of my heart, but Willow and I were connected at the soul. Her death took a bit of my soul. I miss her so much it aches. I know I'm rambling again...

Someone with pets even said to me, well you have so many others. WTF does that have to do with losing the ONE?! Each one of our animals is unique and special in their own way, with their own personalities, quirks and comforts. Simon loved shredded cheese and as soon as he heard the package open, he'd come running. I haven't been able to eat it and probably won't for a long time.

OMG...I agree so much! Chunk can NEVER replace Willow, he is his own personality. The things I love about him are not the same things I loved about Willow. She was an old soul...a counselor if you will. Chunk is a very young soul, he's a kitten still and has a kitten like soul. He does not have the same ability to look into your eyes and say "I really understand" but he can look in your eyes and say "I love you...can we play?" I was just telling my daughter today that I wouldnt' be able to eat cheese for a while, because that was a favorite treat of Willow's. If I got the cheese out she'd come running and beg until I gave her a tiny taste of it. Oh I miss having her sit by me and beg. But she wasn't an in your face beggar, she sat quietly until you gave her something. She was so refined and had such manners.

I don't know what to do without her....

[Tina B and crew]

If ever I thought life sucked, I'm more than convinced of it now. I was always one to not to dwell thinking no matter how bad I had it, someone out there has it a lot worse. Well right now, I don't give a rat's tail about anyone else. I want my boy back. I want my home complete like it was. I know you do too. I'm so sorry.

Oh, that too. Someone was telling me that earlier and I felt the same way. I don't give a f*** I hurt right now and that is all that matters to me. This pain is more than I really want to bear but I will I suppose. I'm sorry that we are both going through this Cleo

[k9Karen]

I'm so sorry you're both hurting so much. I've been through everything you're going through, so I understand. Please know that time does heal. You will never forget - and you don't want to forget. The mind heals itself just like the body does. Eventually, you will find that this does not consume you the way it does now. The pain, unfortunately, does remain and can resurface at any time, but it will find a place in your mind where it is not so visible and raw and all-consuming. And remember, you are not being disloyal or unloving if you see something on TV or another furbaby does something that makes you laugh or smile. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to take your mind somewhere else. (read, watch tv, visit friends or relatives, go to a movie, etc.)

Tina - I know it hurts to give your attention to Chunk, but please remember he is hurting and missing Willow too. Taking the time to comfort him will make him feel better and hopefully you will be comforted too. I've always found the most comfort in loving the ones still with me. A big slurpy doggie kiss went a long way in making me feel better.

[Traci]

Tina,

I don't often make a whole lot of sense when I open up about feelings, but I sort of compare pets with children, that is, how we feel when we lose them.

Those of us who choose to have and love animals in our lives, love our pets as much as we love our children (or maybe a spouse), and we react in kind the same way as if something happened to a child. Everyone has a varying level of committment, but those of us who bond with and share animal souls, know all too well that the pain of loss is unlike anything on earth. I think much of it has to do with life-span, we want them to live as long as we do, and we cannot accept that they don't. We also cherish our animal relationships because they never hurt us as humans often do. We love them because they are better than us.

And so maybe we suffer more. Because we're left here to pick up the pieces, to suffer for what seems like an eternity. It somehow doesn't seem right, nor fair, that we have to spend so much of our life without a cherished loved one. It's simply awful.

And yet, those of us who choose animals in our lives, know that our hearts are bigger than the sky and we will always have more love in our hearts to give another needy soul. To me, it's a cycle of love. What you've learned from Willow and the love you shared, will go on with Chunk. Just as it has with every furbaby before them. We never replace our loved ones, ever - if we're lucky, we will be absolutely blessed to be chosen again.

The heartfelt pain and emotional and physical torture you're feeling is real and it is valid, and you have every right to curse the gods, to cry your heart out and to scream at the otherwise insensitive world. WE hear you, and WE share your pain, and WE know how much it hurts.

I feel truly inadequate in knowing how to comfort you. I always choke up and the words I want to say won't come out, how to express them escapes me. But, I want you to know that I FEEL your pain, your tears, your devestation, your heartache, and I feel what you had with Willow was among the most special things on this earth, cherish that in your heart forever, Willow knew, and she knows now, that you are lost without her, but the journey doesn't end here, your souls are forever entwined.

I am among one of the people Cleo shared her painful loss of Simon with. And then, as now, I still feel inadequate to help ease the pain. But I want you both to know that I am here, that I feel your heartache and pain and that I love you both and even though Simon and Willow were yours, I loved them too.

I am much like Karen, I believe our remaining furbabies need our love and attention as well, for surely they know their sibling is missing. Whoever says pets don't have feelings is a nutjob. I know that the two of you are giving your furbabies everything you have, and in so doing, they will help you heal.

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

[E's]

I know - this is no cure. But perhaps it can divert your thoughts for a time...

https://www.deltasociety.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=610

The LSU site is listed on the above link (Louisiana) but I have copied it out in full here because it is the one I know most about...
_______________________________________________________________
Best Friend Gone Project
LSU School of Veterinary Medicine
Address: LSU School of Veterinary Medicine, South Stadium Rd., Baton Rouge, LA 70803
Phone: (504) 346-5710
Fax: (504) 346-5702
Email: friendgone@vetmed.lsu.edu
Contact: Stephanie W. Johnson, BCSW.
The Best Friend Gone Project is a program of the LSU School of Veterinary Medicine. Stephanie is a Board Certified social worker trained in issues of grief and loss. The program offers telephone counseling, private counseling, support group meetings, referral reading list and information on pet loss. Office hours are 8 a.m.- 5:00 p.m., Monday through Friday. Referrals and phone consultations are welcome.

Y.A.N.A. (You Are NOT Alone) Pet Loss and Grief Support Group of Metro Baton Rouge
Rosemarie Samuels, M.Ed., DAPA
Address: P.O. Box 45783, Baton Rouge, LA 70895
Phone: (225) 505-3768
Website: www.YouAreNOTAlonePetLoss@yahoo.com
The Pet Loss and Grief Support Group meets the third Thursday of each month, at the YMCA - A. C. Lewis Branch located at 350 South Foster Drive, Baton Rouge, LA from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

The meetings are FREE and open to anyone coping with the loss or anticipating the loss of a beloved pet.Pet owners may bring photos of their beloved pet, read poems and share stories.

Rosemarie Samuels holds a Master's degree in counseling with several years of counseling experience including bereavement counseling in a church environment. Ms. Samuels is a lover of animals and has personally experienced the loss of a beloved family pet. In memory of her beloved pet daughter.
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