Goodbye Max, I love you and miss you so much

[Payton80]

I can't believe your gone.

Max, thankyou for gracing me with your presence for the last 12 and a half years. They have been the best only because of you. You were the reason I didn't feel alone and you were the only reason sometimes that I felt truely, unconditionally loved. That is how I feel for you. I love you so much and I'm going to be a mess for a long time. I am so glad that I was able to find you a daddy that loved you as much as I do. We both miss you and love you and we're trying to hold our selves together. Everything at home is different now that you are gone. Even though your brother and sisters are here, the house still feels empty. You were the glue that held everyone together. I keep remembering all the good times we had, from the first time you popped out of the little snow covered box, to when I held you in my arms, telling you I loved you as you took your last breath. That was the worst moment of my life, you went too soon. I'm sorry I failed you Max. This is so heart wrenching, the only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is knowing that you were happy and died hearing my voice tell you how much I loved you and being in my arms. You are the perfect cat and I hope you will come see me in my dreams because I don't think I can survive without seeing my baby again, my little boozer. You will always be my first love Max, always. You are loved and deeply missed.

Love you more than life,

Mommy

[Marty]

A beautiful tribute to a much loved friend...I am tears for you and your husband. Run free at the Bridge, dear Max.

[Traci]

It's easy to see how very much you loved Max, he lives on in your heart and memories, that bond can never be broken....Safe and gentle journey, sweet Max.......(((HUGS)))

---

I Stood By Your Bed

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached out to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is almost over... I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.

— Author Unknown

[slvrwhispr]

*passes the tissue box*

[Payton80]

Thankyou everyone, and thanks for the beautiful poem Traci. I'm going to print it out and give it to my husband, he is devastated as well and needlessly blames himself, he wishes Max would just come back and tell him it wasn't his fault and that he loved him. Its hard enough for me to cope, but its harder for me to watch my husband blame himself, even though that is how I feel. Anyway thanks for your support everyone. I don't have many people in my life and even fewer that would understand the loss of a close and beloved pet. It has been theraputic to read the various stories and share mine with people that care to hear them. Thank you.

[Tambrey]

thank you slvrwhispr *grabs a handful of Kleenex*

Payton and hubby, I am so sorry for your loss of Max, I know that pain of losing a beloved pet...all too many times in my life...and it never gets any easier...but the pain does lessen in time...and we remember them and smile...

Traci...that is a lovely poem...thank you for sharing that

[Cleo]

Gentle journey sweet Max...
(((hugs)))

[Traci]

The poem is one of my favorites, I refer to it sometimes when unable to cope with a loss, somehow it helps.

[Payton80]

thankyou everyone,

I am so sad and depressed, I have bloodshot eyes all the time now, and I can't seem to be able to let go of this feeling of loneliness, what can I do? I feel sad about so many things, I keep remembering him and it hurts so much that he's not here, I keep crying and I feel bad that I'm so broken and keep bring my husband to this place that I can't seem to get out of. Will this ever get easier? I can't or don't want to let go, I feel like I can't allow myself anything. My three other cats Scribbie, Princess and Butters are here and it still feels so lonely. I don't know what to do I cry so much that I can't even see clearly anymore. I only feel ok when my husband is at home, that he works long hours and goes to classes at night, so I barely see him for an hour at night. I'm just so spent. Any words of advice as to how the heck I can cope?

[Traci]

You might try doing something special in Max's memory. Maybe plant a special garden. Maybe make a special photoalbum or picture display as a tribute to help you feel he is always near you. A scrapbook with momentos, pictures, special memories might also help. You can "talk" to him every day and express your thoughts and your feelings. (sometimes, saying them out loud helps). Maybe write a special poem or tribute for him and frame it, and place it in a prominent area.

Do also spend time with your other cats, they need you too, and may be somewhat grieving in their own way as well.

Your feelings are very valid and it's not easy to deal with loss. But, with each passing day, somehow, the angst lessens in severity and is replaced with a sense of peace and fond memories.

You're not alone, you're amoung people who understand and who feel your pain....(((HUGS)))