Male cats are from Mars, Female cats are from Venus?

[Turkeycat]

Hi all,

Here's some background data: I have a year-old female cat who has had virtually no experience with other cats and I've had her since she was two months old. The only time she's encountered other cats is when I've taken her outside and then she chased two cats out of the yard. I very rarely let her outside. She is very patient with people and is still quite playful. She likes to bite and nip playfully. We have a very big collie (here long before cat) who has always tried to engage the cat (in play or hurt it can't be told) and the cat still shrieks and hisses at him whenever they are in the same room. I'm not worried about the dog and a new cat because there is already a pretty well-established system in place to keep the cat and dog separated.

Here's my problem: I'm looking at the local shelter for a cat to be a companion for my cat. She's my only cat, and I often have to leave her alone. There's a great 7-month-old male cat at the shelter who seems he'd be a mellow dude. He's declawed, neutered, and abandoned by a previous owner. I had a bad experience a few years ago with a 2-year-old female cat and a year-old male, so I'm wary of putting a male and female cat together. All the other variables about the two cats seem good (please correct me if I'm wrong) but I'm not sure about putting two cats of different genders together. Then again, the one bad experience I had could be explained by the difference in the cats' ages, their both being relocated to a new apartment soon after their being put together, and the fact that the male cat was a psychokitty. What do you all think? Can a female cat and male cat get along? Would my chances of old cat and new cat getting along well be improved with the new cat being a female, all other variables held constant? Please let me know.

[jdf]

Woody Allen said that a relationship is 99 percent luck or something like that... we have four cats- one female and three males - Ruby, the queen of the world, and Ringo, the feral tomcat turned lap cat, get along great - they love each other.

When Ringo first showed up in our yard, he and Ruby played with/at each other through the windows for a few weeks. When we had Ringo neutered and let him inside the house, it was non-stop playing with them for about two months. They've both calmed down at this point but hang together all the time like an old married couple.

Ruby tolerates the other two males but doesn't love them like she does Ringo. Every cat has a different personality and when the chemistry is right, it's great for everyone and gender doesn't seem to be an issue. There's always Alpha sorting out that happens but maybe part of success is with a slow introduction ( slow courtship?). I guess good wine is worth waiting for....

[MattinglyMom]

Growing up we had a mix of male and female cats. There were times when two males were the best of friends of the bunch, and others when a male and female were. Currently I have a one-year-old male and a new 12-week-old female kitten. They are getting on quite famously now. My personal experience tells me it just depends on the individual cats. Maybe someone else here has a differing opinion or more experience, but I would say there isn't a general rule about gender.