Play or Fighting?
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- Posts: 13
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:53 pm
Play or Fighting?
Hi All. I'm new here to these forums. My story is this. My husband and I rescued a very small sick kitten last summer from the middle of the road. Over the past months he has grown into a beautiful, loving, playful, healthy boy. The perfect cat basically... maybe a bit on the skittish side but otherwise wonderful. My husband and I both work very long hours and decided to get Mattingly a playmate since so much of what we have read said that cats often do better with a friend. Our vet said a new cat we get should be his age or younger, and that a kitten should be fine. So we adopted a kitten from a shelter (still unnamed). She is very playful but quickly learning that we don't tolerate biting and clawing of hands in this family. We have been following all the introduction protocol we have found, and the two of them are moving it along quite quickly... crying for each other when they are apart. We know that when they are in the room together, supervised, that there might be some growling and hissing. But how do you know when it's rough play and when it might be too much? I know a knock-out drag-down fight when I see one, but Mattingly is bigger than our little one obviously, so how do we know if he's hurting her? She'll hiss and growl to tell him to stop, then runs away, turns around, presents her belly, and the whole thing goes on again. We are worried about two things. One, is he being to rough with her? Two, is this going to affect their future relationship? Any advice on this? I guess also, do we break it up or allow them to sort it out?
One last thing, is that tonight she got ahold of his favorite toy twice. We've been keeping that from her (as well as keeping her from his favorite hiding place) so that he knows some comforts still are just for him. But tonight when she got ahold of it, she growled and wouldn't let go. When my husband picked it up to take it out of her mouth, she growled at him too. I've never seen anything like this in a cat (dog yes, but not a cat). What do we do about this? Thanks for any advice you have!
One last thing, is that tonight she got ahold of his favorite toy twice. We've been keeping that from her (as well as keeping her from his favorite hiding place) so that he knows some comforts still are just for him. But tonight when she got ahold of it, she growled and wouldn't let go. When my husband picked it up to take it out of her mouth, she growled at him too. I've never seen anything like this in a cat (dog yes, but not a cat). What do we do about this? Thanks for any advice you have!
Re: Play or Fighting?
How old is the female kitten and how long have you had her? I assume Mattingly is near a year old? Is he neutered, and is the kitten spayed yet? If the kitten isn't spayed yet, she could be going into heat, which would mean she may be submissive at times to him, yet also let him know when she's had enough, particularly if Mattingly is trying to "hold" her to "mate".
Depending on how old she is, and how much smaller she is compared to Mattingly, will depend on the level of worry for her safety. If she's at least 6 months or older, she should be fully developed enough to defend herself against rough play from Mattingly, but if she is too young or is not fully developed, you will have to continue supervising them and gently teach Mattingly that agressive or "too rough" behavior is not acceptable.
The only time you should really ever intervene between introductions is if there is agressive biting or scratching behavior or unrelentless chasing between them. Hissing and growling are not physical worries, and this would be natural for them to do so during the introduction period. But, if there is biting, scratching, blood drawn, screams or crying out in pain, or continued withdrawal from either of them, then you know it's time for a time-out for the instigator for each incident it occurs (only for 5 or 10 minutes at a time in a closed seperate room). A squirt bottle can also be used for inappropriate behavior, but you should only use it at the exact time of the unwanted behavior.
As for the toy, she could be directing stress, play or agressive behavior toward it, or she could be in heat and may be taking out her frustration on the toy. If she likes the toy and finds comfort from it, let her have it and give Mattingly a new toy that is like it or similar. It doesn't matter if both cats share the same toys, but it is important there are interactive toys available for both, and that your time is spent with them equally, as well as with them together.
It sounds like you've only had her for a short time, so be patient, continue to introduce them together, and get involved with them by creating a special playtime session for them together,...they will associate these times with good experiences, and will learn to tolerate and respect each other when they are more involved together. Toys, playtime and activity are good ways to divert their attention to the playsession, rather than focused directly on each other, and in time, will allow them to become more bonded.
Depending on how old she is, and how much smaller she is compared to Mattingly, will depend on the level of worry for her safety. If she's at least 6 months or older, she should be fully developed enough to defend herself against rough play from Mattingly, but if she is too young or is not fully developed, you will have to continue supervising them and gently teach Mattingly that agressive or "too rough" behavior is not acceptable.
The only time you should really ever intervene between introductions is if there is agressive biting or scratching behavior or unrelentless chasing between them. Hissing and growling are not physical worries, and this would be natural for them to do so during the introduction period. But, if there is biting, scratching, blood drawn, screams or crying out in pain, or continued withdrawal from either of them, then you know it's time for a time-out for the instigator for each incident it occurs (only for 5 or 10 minutes at a time in a closed seperate room). A squirt bottle can also be used for inappropriate behavior, but you should only use it at the exact time of the unwanted behavior.
As for the toy, she could be directing stress, play or agressive behavior toward it, or she could be in heat and may be taking out her frustration on the toy. If she likes the toy and finds comfort from it, let her have it and give Mattingly a new toy that is like it or similar. It doesn't matter if both cats share the same toys, but it is important there are interactive toys available for both, and that your time is spent with them equally, as well as with them together.
It sounds like you've only had her for a short time, so be patient, continue to introduce them together, and get involved with them by creating a special playtime session for them together,...they will associate these times with good experiences, and will learn to tolerate and respect each other when they are more involved together. Toys, playtime and activity are good ways to divert their attention to the playsession, rather than focused directly on each other, and in time, will allow them to become more bonded.
..........Traci
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- Posts: 13
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:53 pm
Re: Play or Fighting?
Thank you so much for your input Traci! To answer your questions, the kitten is rather young, only about 7 weeks old (her litter was just left at a shelter, so we don't know exactly for sure). Mattingly is indeed neutered, and she will be spayed when she is old enough, but my understanding of cats is that she shouldn't be ready for heat just yet, though I'm sure you know more about that than I do!
I am going to follow your suggestions to allow her to share the toy with him, and tomorrow morning we will be purchasing a similar one so we can have two in the house. It makes sense to distract them with play and things like that while they are together and not have the focus just on each other. We had been standing back allowing them to interact, but we will be more a part of it from now on!
Our trouble right now is keeping them apart between supervised sessions. We live in an apartment where the only closeable door is the bathroom door, with only folding doors between the other rooms. Mattingly has figured out how to either pull or push his way into every room so we are doing our best with door blockades. It's hard when they keep trying to get to each other though. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Thank you so much for your help!
I am going to follow your suggestions to allow her to share the toy with him, and tomorrow morning we will be purchasing a similar one so we can have two in the house. It makes sense to distract them with play and things like that while they are together and not have the focus just on each other. We had been standing back allowing them to interact, but we will be more a part of it from now on!
Our trouble right now is keeping them apart between supervised sessions. We live in an apartment where the only closeable door is the bathroom door, with only folding doors between the other rooms. Mattingly has figured out how to either pull or push his way into every room so we are doing our best with door blockades. It's hard when they keep trying to get to each other though. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Thank you so much for your help!
I'm glad you clarified. She is way too young to have been seperated from her mother and siblings. Ideally, kittens should not be taken from their mother/siblings until at least 12 weeks of age so they can develop social skills, etc.
She's not developed enough to defend herself against rough play with Mattingly. But, you can take measures to supervise them while together, and do try to teach Mattingly to be gentle with her. Since she is still developing, Mattingly really needs to exercise gentleness with her. Watch and observe him closely....chances are he is mainly curious and just wants to play, but do watch them closely. I suspect that if they are seperated for long periods of time during the day, the kitten is crying for attention, as she would with her mother and siblings, being that she is so young. I would continue to keep them seperated for a couple more weeks at least, and pay special attention to how they interact when you're home..that will be your guide to when they can be left together when you're at work. You'll have to expect at least a couple weeks or longer, depending on her growth and development, and depending on Mattingly's personality and acceptance/gentleness with her.
This may turn out very well, however, since she now has a big brother in which to "learn the ropes", to get socialized with another feline, to form a bond with him as she matures, and to socialize with you and your husband too. Be sure your home is kitten-proofed! (just as you would for a baby or toddler).
She's too young to go into heat. Her first heat cycle could begin at around 3 months of age. Your vet may suggest spaying her around that time or waiting until she's 6 months of age...every vet has their preference, based on the kitten's health, weight, environment, etc.
Have you had your kitten seen by your primary vet yet? It is always best to have your newly adopted seen immediately by your own vet for a thorough exam, potential deworming, etc before introducing to the resident cat(s). When she is at 10 weeks of age, I'd strongly recommend getting her tested for FELV/FIV and start her first vaccination series (FVRCP and FELV -- your vet can discuss this with you further). Do NOT allow your vet to vaccinate for FIV or FIP, these two vaccines are too controversial.
She's not developed enough to defend herself against rough play with Mattingly. But, you can take measures to supervise them while together, and do try to teach Mattingly to be gentle with her. Since she is still developing, Mattingly really needs to exercise gentleness with her. Watch and observe him closely....chances are he is mainly curious and just wants to play, but do watch them closely. I suspect that if they are seperated for long periods of time during the day, the kitten is crying for attention, as she would with her mother and siblings, being that she is so young. I would continue to keep them seperated for a couple more weeks at least, and pay special attention to how they interact when you're home..that will be your guide to when they can be left together when you're at work. You'll have to expect at least a couple weeks or longer, depending on her growth and development, and depending on Mattingly's personality and acceptance/gentleness with her.
This may turn out very well, however, since she now has a big brother in which to "learn the ropes", to get socialized with another feline, to form a bond with him as she matures, and to socialize with you and your husband too. Be sure your home is kitten-proofed! (just as you would for a baby or toddler).
She's too young to go into heat. Her first heat cycle could begin at around 3 months of age. Your vet may suggest spaying her around that time or waiting until she's 6 months of age...every vet has their preference, based on the kitten's health, weight, environment, etc.
Have you had your kitten seen by your primary vet yet? It is always best to have your newly adopted seen immediately by your own vet for a thorough exam, potential deworming, etc before introducing to the resident cat(s). When she is at 10 weeks of age, I'd strongly recommend getting her tested for FELV/FIV and start her first vaccination series (FVRCP and FELV -- your vet can discuss this with you further). Do NOT allow your vet to vaccinate for FIV or FIP, these two vaccines are too controversial.
..........Traci
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- Posts: 13
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:53 pm
Re: Play or Fighting?
Wow I didn't realize kittens should stay with their families until 12 weeks. Unfortunately her mother is out of the picture (as they were dropped off at a shelter at about 4-5 weeks old), and the rest of her litter has been adopted out. I would not have taken her from her litter had I known 6 weeks was too young. I've been sleeping with her each night in the room she's staying in (which is thoroughly kitten-proofed) since she cries and seems so lonely. All of this is making so much more sense now though. It seems she does want to play and interact with Mattingly, but he's too rough with her. She just keeps going back for more though because she must be seeking that attention and closeness. And he's not meaning to be rough, but doesn't seem to understand how gentle he needs to be.
We will continue to keep them separated for the most part physically. They've been eating meals on either side of a baby gate and that is going really well. In a few days maybe we'll try a play session again using several toys with my husband and I interacting with them. But for now we'll mostly keep them apart to allow her to develop a little more and be able to tell Mattingly more forcefully that he needs to be more gentle with her. I'm not sure how I myself can encourage more gentle play from him.
As for the vet visit, she has been seen by a vet at the shelter and given one worming treatment. I was given the second one to bring home and give her next week. Fortunately we have A LOT of experience giving medications since Mattingly was such a sick little guy. They did one FIV test, that came up negative, but told me to recheck with my vet when she is 12 weeks to be sure it wasn't a false negative.
We have high hopes that they will become friends. Mattingly seems truly concerned for her, getting agitated and trying to get to her when she cries. I am greatly comforted by your comments tonight. I've learned so much. Thank you for your help!
I haven't taken any of the pictures off my camera yet of our new little kitty, but here is one of Mattingly over the holidays for your enjoyment!
<img src="http://photos.imageevent.com/paolos/blo ... jpg"></img>
We will continue to keep them separated for the most part physically. They've been eating meals on either side of a baby gate and that is going really well. In a few days maybe we'll try a play session again using several toys with my husband and I interacting with them. But for now we'll mostly keep them apart to allow her to develop a little more and be able to tell Mattingly more forcefully that he needs to be more gentle with her. I'm not sure how I myself can encourage more gentle play from him.
As for the vet visit, she has been seen by a vet at the shelter and given one worming treatment. I was given the second one to bring home and give her next week. Fortunately we have A LOT of experience giving medications since Mattingly was such a sick little guy. They did one FIV test, that came up negative, but told me to recheck with my vet when she is 12 weeks to be sure it wasn't a false negative.
We have high hopes that they will become friends. Mattingly seems truly concerned for her, getting agitated and trying to get to her when she cries. I am greatly comforted by your comments tonight. I've learned so much. Thank you for your help!
I haven't taken any of the pictures off my camera yet of our new little kitty, but here is one of Mattingly over the holidays for your enjoyment!
<img src="http://photos.imageevent.com/paolos/blo ... jpg"></img>
Re: Play or Fighting?
Aww....he's precious! Can't wait to see your new little girl
Actually, I would suggest taking time every day (when you're home from work and maybe in the morning too before you go to work)...to allow them time together, plus playtime sessions (supervised of course). As long as you are there to supervise, both cats need to be introduced slowly each day, in the same space together, so they can smell each other, touch, etc...this is good for the kitten to learn to trust Mattingly, and for Mattingly to learn how to be gentle with her.
Whenever he seems to be too rough with her, immediately say a stern "NO, Mattingly", and see if he backs off alittle. If he doesn't, repeat the "NO", and physically seperate them a few feet from each other (or sit between them), or refrain to another area to watch them, and monitor. Repeat as necessary. If Mattingly isn't getting it after a few days, then start using a squirt bottle (a stern "NO" followed with one squirt of water). Do, however, try to divert his attention at those times to another toy, or physically engage with him with playing, cuddling, etc so that he doesn't feel confused and upset.
The baby gate is a good idea, but be sure the kitten can't climb over it or Mattingly jumping over it.
Yes, she is probably quite lonely when you are gone. Young kittens depend on their mothers and siblings in their first weeks of life, for companionship and social learning skills. With a human counterpart, they demand the same attention on a constant basis (just as a human baby does). Cuddling, playtime, attention, lots of love is crucial to their development, especially when they are less than 12 weeks of age. Even at 12 weeks, they still demand the attention, but start becoming more independant, curious, rambunctious and energetic, exploring their environment. She has the advantage of a big brother now to bond with her, but she is just a baby, and will need you to watch out for her at all times.
It sounds like Mattingly is a loving, well-adjusted young adult who is excited to have a new sister....he too needs time to adjust, but the most important thing is that he is not too rough, or puts his weight on her too agressively. Just supervise at all times, and in time, you'll know when it is right to allow them together when you're gone. Do though, give them time together every chance you get when you're home. As long as the baby gate is see-through, they can see and smell each other, etc yet afford safety too.
For your kitten, keep a fluffy blanket available to her, and maybe a stuffed toy animal about her size so she can snuggle with it when she naps. If she's graduated onto solid food (dry), keep it and water available to her at all times, she needs those vital nutrients in her kitten food to replensih the energy she will be expending.
Actually, I would suggest taking time every day (when you're home from work and maybe in the morning too before you go to work)...to allow them time together, plus playtime sessions (supervised of course). As long as you are there to supervise, both cats need to be introduced slowly each day, in the same space together, so they can smell each other, touch, etc...this is good for the kitten to learn to trust Mattingly, and for Mattingly to learn how to be gentle with her.
Whenever he seems to be too rough with her, immediately say a stern "NO, Mattingly", and see if he backs off alittle. If he doesn't, repeat the "NO", and physically seperate them a few feet from each other (or sit between them), or refrain to another area to watch them, and monitor. Repeat as necessary. If Mattingly isn't getting it after a few days, then start using a squirt bottle (a stern "NO" followed with one squirt of water). Do, however, try to divert his attention at those times to another toy, or physically engage with him with playing, cuddling, etc so that he doesn't feel confused and upset.
The baby gate is a good idea, but be sure the kitten can't climb over it or Mattingly jumping over it.
Yes, she is probably quite lonely when you are gone. Young kittens depend on their mothers and siblings in their first weeks of life, for companionship and social learning skills. With a human counterpart, they demand the same attention on a constant basis (just as a human baby does). Cuddling, playtime, attention, lots of love is crucial to their development, especially when they are less than 12 weeks of age. Even at 12 weeks, they still demand the attention, but start becoming more independant, curious, rambunctious and energetic, exploring their environment. She has the advantage of a big brother now to bond with her, but she is just a baby, and will need you to watch out for her at all times.
It sounds like Mattingly is a loving, well-adjusted young adult who is excited to have a new sister....he too needs time to adjust, but the most important thing is that he is not too rough, or puts his weight on her too agressively. Just supervise at all times, and in time, you'll know when it is right to allow them together when you're gone. Do though, give them time together every chance you get when you're home. As long as the baby gate is see-through, they can see and smell each other, etc yet afford safety too.
For your kitten, keep a fluffy blanket available to her, and maybe a stuffed toy animal about her size so she can snuggle with it when she naps. If she's graduated onto solid food (dry), keep it and water available to her at all times, she needs those vital nutrients in her kitten food to replensih the energy she will be expending.
..........Traci
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- Posts: 13
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 10:53 pm
Re: Play or Fighting?
Traci I can't thank you enough. Things are already so much better today. They have interacted a lot today, and it's getting much more relaxed. We started by playing with them separately but in the same room. My husband played with Mattingly and I played with the kitten using toys, so they played near each other, but not necessarily WITH each other. And that went great. When they got bored of the toys and decided to play together, we just gently broke them apart when Mattingly got a bit too rough. We are careful not to be TOO stern with him, because he can be so sensitive and skittish sometimes that he will run and hide, and we don't want him to feel he is being punished. After a few breakups this morning, he is much gentler with her, and is very quick to back off now when she says "enough" with her growl. I'm also a little less nervous about her growl because she uses it a lot in play even with toys, so I only break them up when she gives that sort of crying mew that kittens give when they are unhappy. When she goes to sleep we've been putting her in her room and playing a lot with Mattingly alone. And we've been giving him some treats to let him know things are good. We are also hoping that as they interact more, the novelty will wear off a bit and they won't have to play EVERY SECOND they are together! I really appreciate all your advice.
I think I mentioned in my original post also about her growling with play. I think that's mostly what it is, but tonight she was nibbling something on the floor, and when my husband picked her up to see what she had, she turned and growled and hissed at my husband. Could this be a sort of food aggression or something? I know it happens in dogs, but I've never heard of it in cats. Is there something we can do to discourage this? I worry that this could cause more problems later.
I think I mentioned in my original post also about her growling with play. I think that's mostly what it is, but tonight she was nibbling something on the floor, and when my husband picked her up to see what she had, she turned and growled and hissed at my husband. Could this be a sort of food aggression or something? I know it happens in dogs, but I've never heard of it in cats. Is there something we can do to discourage this? I worry that this could cause more problems later.
It sounds like things are going very well, you and dad are obviously excellent kitty parents
As for the growling, my personal opinion is this: I think she was seperated from her mother way too early, endured a great deal of stress as a result of that seperation, the shelter environment, the seperation from her siblings, and the new environment now. That's alot of stress for a 7-week-old kitten, and she is still learning social skills at this point. Also, you don't know how she was handled early on in her first weeks of life, by whom, and how she was affected by those stress factors, all those changes. (in an ideal situation, young kittens are kept with their mothers until 12 weeks of age at least....when they are around 9 weeks of age, they are more receptive to being introduced and socialized to humans, human touch/handling and bonding, etc...it is the early weeks in life with their mother and siblings that are crucial to development and well-being)
She is at an age now where she is learning many new things. Sociability and instinctual behavior will be amoung them. I think she will master the sociability just fine, since she has a new brother who is taking interest in her, and since she has you, her permanent surrogate mother and caretaker. The instinctual behavior is different, in that it is natural for a kitten this young to learn and practice instinctual behaviors....mainly defense, play agression, (hunt, stalk, pounce and attack her prey), and curiosity/mischief. Normally, her mother would teach her these "survival" skills, and she would also learn from and have comfort from her siblings, but since she doesn't have either, she is adjusting the best way she knows how, instinctually. With your patience, guidance, and a whole lot of love, she will adjust to her new environment and mature into a whole new stage of development (learning to have fun and get into mischief , as well as learning to bond with you and Mattingly). Be prepared, she will be an energetic, spirited little girl well past 6 months of age, so she will need lots of stimulation, both mentally (secure environment, bonding with Mattingly and you, etc) and physically (playtime, activity, exercise, she's going to expend ALOT of energy).
I think the growling stems from her previous environments, in that, she was seperated from her mother and siblings too early and never got the chance to grow and develop with them. If she was exposed to several different environments in such a short amount of time, she was probably overwhelmed, and instinctually, the "survival" instinct took over (protection of herself, as well as food, toys or things of comfort, etc). It will just take time and patience on your part so that she can learn to trust you, and every day will bring you closer, as long as that trust is built and remains secure.
She is young enough though, that with alot of love and support, I'm sure she will adjust and develop into a well-adjusted happy kitty. She is also learning how to trust you and your husband, and Mattingly, so keep that in mind....when she growls, refrain from whatever you're taking away from her, she needs the comfort from the item (as long as it is safe, like food or a toy). But every chance you get, slowly and calmly try to bond with her by staying close by her, cuddling with her, making eye contact, talking in a soft voice to her, making her experiences good ones for her.
I suspect she is very curious and interested in Mattingly. It sounds like he is ultimately curious about her and is perhaps even taking on a big brother or even fatherly role for her. If he is otherwise gentle with her, that is, he isn't growling or hissing at her, or hiding from her, or swatting her, etc, then he is probably trying to bond with her already. It's important to allow them together, (supervised), because your kitten will appreciate Mattingly's touch, and the bond formed between felines. She will undoubtedly learn alot from him, and now is a good time for them to start the bonding process. (of course, again....she needs to grow and develop so that she is able to defend herself against his weight, and roughness, but do allow them close interaction together as much as possible)
As for the growling, my personal opinion is this: I think she was seperated from her mother way too early, endured a great deal of stress as a result of that seperation, the shelter environment, the seperation from her siblings, and the new environment now. That's alot of stress for a 7-week-old kitten, and she is still learning social skills at this point. Also, you don't know how she was handled early on in her first weeks of life, by whom, and how she was affected by those stress factors, all those changes. (in an ideal situation, young kittens are kept with their mothers until 12 weeks of age at least....when they are around 9 weeks of age, they are more receptive to being introduced and socialized to humans, human touch/handling and bonding, etc...it is the early weeks in life with their mother and siblings that are crucial to development and well-being)
She is at an age now where she is learning many new things. Sociability and instinctual behavior will be amoung them. I think she will master the sociability just fine, since she has a new brother who is taking interest in her, and since she has you, her permanent surrogate mother and caretaker. The instinctual behavior is different, in that it is natural for a kitten this young to learn and practice instinctual behaviors....mainly defense, play agression, (hunt, stalk, pounce and attack her prey), and curiosity/mischief. Normally, her mother would teach her these "survival" skills, and she would also learn from and have comfort from her siblings, but since she doesn't have either, she is adjusting the best way she knows how, instinctually. With your patience, guidance, and a whole lot of love, she will adjust to her new environment and mature into a whole new stage of development (learning to have fun and get into mischief , as well as learning to bond with you and Mattingly). Be prepared, she will be an energetic, spirited little girl well past 6 months of age, so she will need lots of stimulation, both mentally (secure environment, bonding with Mattingly and you, etc) and physically (playtime, activity, exercise, she's going to expend ALOT of energy).
I think the growling stems from her previous environments, in that, she was seperated from her mother and siblings too early and never got the chance to grow and develop with them. If she was exposed to several different environments in such a short amount of time, she was probably overwhelmed, and instinctually, the "survival" instinct took over (protection of herself, as well as food, toys or things of comfort, etc). It will just take time and patience on your part so that she can learn to trust you, and every day will bring you closer, as long as that trust is built and remains secure.
She is young enough though, that with alot of love and support, I'm sure she will adjust and develop into a well-adjusted happy kitty. She is also learning how to trust you and your husband, and Mattingly, so keep that in mind....when she growls, refrain from whatever you're taking away from her, she needs the comfort from the item (as long as it is safe, like food or a toy). But every chance you get, slowly and calmly try to bond with her by staying close by her, cuddling with her, making eye contact, talking in a soft voice to her, making her experiences good ones for her.
I suspect she is very curious and interested in Mattingly. It sounds like he is ultimately curious about her and is perhaps even taking on a big brother or even fatherly role for her. If he is otherwise gentle with her, that is, he isn't growling or hissing at her, or hiding from her, or swatting her, etc, then he is probably trying to bond with her already. It's important to allow them together, (supervised), because your kitten will appreciate Mattingly's touch, and the bond formed between felines. She will undoubtedly learn alot from him, and now is a good time for them to start the bonding process. (of course, again....she needs to grow and develop so that she is able to defend herself against his weight, and roughness, but do allow them close interaction together as much as possible)
..........Traci