Any Advice? New cat, not getting on with previous cat

[bizzarodave]

Hi everyone, I'm really glad I found this resource. Here's the (not so) short version, I hope that I can convey all the pertinent facts here:)

My Wife and I have had our cat Shadow since he was old enough to leave his mother, about 8 weeks. Shadow has always been very territorial, but he has been nice enough to my wife and I, if not overly affectionate. He is now 4 years old, and has never had to interact with another cat since he left his litter.

About 2 weeks ago, our friends who received another cat from the same litter asked us if we would be willing to take him, since their cat (Sebastian) is not behaving well with their new child. Sebastian feels threatened by their child, and we hoped that we would be able to help by taking Seb in. After a meet and greet, we decided to give it our best shot, since he's a nice cat, and much more loving than Shadow:)

We picked up Seb, and let him spend the first 4 days in our second bedroom with his own litterbox, food and water, and no contact with Shadow at all. Seb got acclimated to my wife and I very quickly, and everything seemed to be going great, well ahead of what we had planned. We started to let Shadow poke his head in the study, and though Seb growled a little initially, the two of them seemed to get on fine. We started to leave the door to the bedroom open more of the time, and they seemed to be getting along very well. They would sniff each other, mew a little bit, but would then retire to their own spots, but stay together in the same room, within about 6 feet of each other. They spent probably close to 2 days in this fashion, with no real conflict.

When Sebastian started to explore the rest of the house, it must have gotten to Shadow. The two of them have not been able to be in the same place since, to the point where we've had to keep them locked away in separate parts of the house with their own food and litter box. I don't think that Shadow is the aggressor, he seems to be curious about Seb, but Seb always reacts in a full out fight.

We've bought the Feliway system, and after 3 days it's seemed to have little to no effect on either of them. They've had lots of time to get used to each other's scent, both under the door and on each other's favorite toys and cat beds. On their own, they are both very well behaved, loving cats. But together they are a holy terror to each other. Both cats are large Maine Coons, having come from the same litter, and I'm worried they're going to do serious damage to each other. I've already found scabs and blood from their altercations.

Shadow is our cat, and I don't want to try to integrate Sebastian into our home at his expense. As much as my wife and I want this to work, Shadow is our priority, and my fear is that he is starting to get angry with us over this whole thing.

Please help! Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. I've tried to have them together for mutual play time, but they ignore any of our attempts and go straight for each other within a minuet. We use spray bottles to discourage bad behavior, but to no avail. We attempt to use treats to encourage good behavior, but again, no use. Both have been to the vet recently, and though Shadow is about 2 lbs overweight, he is in good health. Sebastian is as well.

I apologize for the overly long post, but I really appreciate anyone who's taken the time to read my situation and give me suggestions. I plan to call our vet tomorrow and ask for advice as well, because I need to figure out if I can resolve this before I really sour Shadow.

Thanks again everyone!
Dave

[Traci]

While you're mostly doing all the right things, you have to expect this will take time, and you have to remain comitted.

Don't intervene unless absolutely necessary, that is, when fights are so agressive that blood is drawn. Combine the use of the squirt bottle, a stern "NO", and give a temporary time-out in a closed room for the instigator and let him out in about 5-10 minutes. Hopefully, only a few time-outs would be necessary for the instigator to learn the time out isn't going to earn him rewards. Do NOT reprimand the instigator in any other way, and do NOT reprimand after the fact.

Spend more time getting them involved with playtime, and toys. Playtime is a good method of getting them acclimated, and more focused on an enjoyable experience, allowing them to focus on the play/toys/attention as opposed to directly focused on each other. Use interactive toys, drag a string across the floor, have several toys available for both cats. Be patient, and be committed to the task, don't get frustrated, but give it time, and be consistent with this. Designate around 15 minutes at least twice a day for playtime with them, so they learn to enjoy it, and look forward to it.

Make sure you've created two feeding stations, and seperate areas for sleeping. In time, you can gradually move food/water dishes, etc closer together as the cats become more accustomed to each other. You should allow the cats to investigate each other's belongings and areas, and not intervene if possible.

Give them both equal time and attention, and remember that Sebastian has come from a very stressful environment, into a totally new environment, so take that into consideration and accomodate his needs. Keep the environment as quiet and calm as possible, but also make the environment interesting and stimulating for them (playtime, bonding, etc). Shadow isn't mad at you, he's just focusing on this new kitty in his environment, it sounds like he probably would bond to Sebastian in time.

Patience, committment and a whole lot of love, those are the keys. Give this time, don't get discouraged, and let the cats work this out amoung themselves with as little intervention from you as possible. I'd stop seperating them, they should both have equal access to all areas of the house, you should only have to mildly supervise. The more you intervene, the more the cats are stressed.

[Tambrey]

It has been a few days...how are things going now?