new cat brings drama

[chyrece]

Hi Everyone! For the past 2 year I've been the happy owner of 2 spayed females each approximately 4 years old. They get along okay-- not best buddies, but there's not been much carrying on. Both are from a shelter where they were housed with several other cats. Both are affectionate, with one of them just starting to seek me out to be with me. Enter into the picture, my neutered male, approximately 2 years old who is also from a shelter where he lived with other cats. He's extremely affectionate, but we've had a few problems that I'm not sure how to deal with. First and least important is that he's sprayed a few places around the house. I think I figured because he was neutered that wasn't going to happen, but I'm guessing it's based in aggression more than anything else. The biggest issue I'm having is the fighting. I can't tell who's the aggressor, if it's my females or the tom. I'm thinking it's the male because the females now seem to be afraid of him. I'm concerned that (1) someone is going to get hurt and (2) that my females will become so fearful that they will stop being social and just hide. Not a good life for them, and definitely not fair. Really really want to find a way to make everyone feel happy and safe. Please help. I should probably note that the male has only been in the house for approx. a week. Maybe time is a factor here, but my two females only took a day to get used to each other. Now I'm breaking up cat fights at 3 a.m. please please help!

[kkary]

There is not doubt about it...time is THE factor, and the new cat needs to be slowly introduced into the household. Two weeks is way too short a time to expect normalcy, and there are some things you can do to re-introduce him to the household. Please go to this link:
http://www.cathelp-online.com/forums/vi ... 54fd83e1cb

and try some of the suggestions there. Good luck, kk

[chyrece]

UPDATE: I posted the original message in this thread. It's been almost 2 months and here's where we're at. I kept the male in a separate room with his own litterbox, food, water, toys and bed. I fed the cats on each side of the door so they would become familiar with each other's scent. I spent about 2 hours every night just with the new boy, and then would spend the remainder of the evening with the girls. After about 2 weeks I started letting the tom out for an hour. That went okay. The girls weren't thrilled, but i didn't expect that they would be. After about a week of that, I started letting tom out in the evenings to be with us. This is about a 4-5 hour time period from when I get home to when I go to sleep. This is always okay until about the 4th hour. Neither of the females seem to like him, one will constantly retreat to the breakfast nook, while the other simply refuses to surrender her spot on the sofa no matter who comes along. When we get into the 4th hour, there's usually some sort of confrontation, and it happens so that I can never tell who's the aggressor. The female who retreats to the nook is usually the one involved in the fight ... she hates that the tom is there. Anyway, I've used the vanilla extract trick and am giving them all rescue remedy in their water. Am I on track here? Like i said, it's been over 2 months ... and we've made some progress, but I'm not sure that we're where we should be?

[Traci]

Both vanilla and rescue remedy contain alcohol...cease one or the other, or both (in my opinion, both are useless)

Part of the problem may be confining the male for too long each day. Since it's been over two months, he is probably quite agitated by the time he is let out in the evenings. You haven't described the "fighting" behavior, but if it is hissing, growling, swatting, etc..expect this to be normal behavior between them as they learn to associate with one another and learn to tolerate each other's boundaries. Don't interfere with their normal behavior during introductions, you need to let the cats work this out amoung themselves.

Attacks, biting or drawing blood do however, require intervention, and give the instigator a 15 minute time-out in another room, for as many times as it takes before they learn the behavior is not acceptable.

[chyrece]

thank you Traci. As of now, the big guy is officially off of lock down. We'll give it a go and I'll keep you posted!

[chyrece]

Okay .. checking in again. the male has been out for two days now. My females are: 1 in the nook and 1 behind the sofa. They won't come out. I honestly don't even see them come out to eat or use the litter box, so I'm a little concerned. There's been minimal incidents, mostly just alot of noise, but of course there would be minimal incidents if the two females aren't out and about. I'm kind of worried that this is how it's going to be, and I'm not at all happy about the situation. Should I be more patient? or should I be concerned?

[Traci]

What has occured during the night when you are sleeping? I'd be willing to bet during the quiet times, the girls are coming out to eat. Check the food dishes to see how much has actually been eaten.

Try not to interfere too much, but do spend time and attention to the girls if they are hiding...try calling out to them softly, interest them in treats to come out of hiding, make sure they know you are present, but let them come out on their own terms...(they won't starve, they are just apprehensive and will become accustomed to the newcomer's presense in due time. Since they've come out to use the litterbox, chances are, they've done so for food/water as well)