Need advice on adjusting to new cat

[chicarooni]

I have an 11 yr old dog, Lucy, and a 5 yr old female cat, Charlie. Both have been with me since they were babies. I have now been adopted by an adult male cat. He has been hanging around almost a year and just moved in about a month ago. He used to hang around and Charlie would walk up and just smack him and walk away. Now that he has moved in, I have had him neutered. He was somewhat agressive towards Lucy and Charlie but has seemed to settle down with the dog. Unfortunately, Charlie the cat dislikes him (to say the least) and has begun staying outside more and more. When she does come in, he chases her and they fight a minute before she runs and hides. New cat is twice as big as Charlie and I am really concerned and have no idea what to do. I keep new cat in my spare bedroom at night and while I'm gone just in case. I will accept any advice!

[melissaranks]

Bringing in a stray can take a lot of work! Booker was an abandoned cat that I adopted. Then, I adopted two more, and she beat the CRAP out of them for the first 4 months or so. I also did what you do and kept them separated when I was unable to watch them. Slowly and surely, they all started getting along. ESPECIALLY Booker and my male Maximus (who has since died). It just takes a lot of time. I don't really have advise. Just that I have had success with bringing in a stray, it just took a really long time.

BTW, Booker is now the biggest, mushiest, drooling lovebug on the whole planet. LOL!!

[chicarooni]

Thanks for giving me some hope. New cat is very lovable to me. He wants to sit in my lap all the time and follows me around the house. He also has decided he doesn't want to go outside at all. I sometimes put him in his room just so I can get Charlie to come out and I can hold and pet her.

[paulette2]

I agree -- the key here is TIME. I took in a stray male about 1-1/2 years ago. For the first six months, my two females (mommy & baby) made his life hell. I had to keep him in our guest room whenever I was out. The girls were so mean to him -- they wouldn't let him come downstairs and they hissed and chased him mercilessly. This poor little guy has only one eye so never tried to stand up to them. I felt so bad.

However, after six months, the older cat started to relent. Now they have become much more friendly. They actually play together--chase each other around and I've seen them kiss, etc. The baby cat still hasn't really made friends with him, but she does tolerate him a little more than she initially did. I was told by a behaviorist not to interfere, but make sure that I let the girls know that their hostility was a no-no. I try to be consistent. Whenever the little girl is mean to the male I give her "time out" in the bathroom.

The funny part of the whole thing is that she KNOWS she's doing something naughty -- she actually gives herself time out now after she hisses or chases him!! It's hysterical!! She runs into the bathroom after I say NO and sits there all guilty! Also, the male is no longer frightened of the girls. He doesn't fight with them but he stands his ground.

I think that if you can stick it out things will settle down eventually. It's hard because it upsets the dynamics of the household when you take in a new cat, but in the long run it's so worth it when the day comes that they start to accept each other. Good luck & bless you for your kindness.