I brought home two new, 9-week old kittens last Friday. They had been rescued by a shelter, who saw to their vaccinations, neutering/spaying, so forth. Both kittens are of the same litter, one male and one female, and had been with their littermates until they were separated at my adoption of the pair.
They're both apparently happy, certainly healthy kittens, but while the male has taken to myself and the rest of the family with great ease and is extremely affectionate, the female seems a bit withdrawn, and won't allow much petting and absolutely no holding or cuddling. Can anyone suggest a cause for this, and a possible remedy? I'm afraid of this continuing, and utimately leading her to relate only to her brother, and ignoring the humans who love her very much.
Any suggestions would be most appreciated!
Unaffectionate Kitty
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kate & kobi
- Posts: 270
- Joined: Fri Apr 25, 2003 2:50 pm
- Location: California
Re: Unaffectionate Kitty
What you are seeing is probably just personality differences, but there could also be an underlying medical cause. If it persists, I'd recommend that you call a vet to see if a visit is warranted (it's also good to be in contact with a vet so you know who to call if something happens).
I think it will just take some time and patience. Don't force her to interact with you - her feeling safe is important. As much as possible, do things on her terms. Try to be calm around her, sit quietly in the room to her, talk gently to her ... pet her when she allows you to, but try to gauge when "enough is enough" for her, and then leave her alone. Stressful environments can exacerbate shyness, so if things are quiet around the house and if she has hiding places to escape to; this will help her feel safe. I'm willing to bet that she'll come around soon enough! It's only been a few days, and she's still getting used to her environment.
In the end, you may have to accept that she'll be less affectionate than her brother - and that's okay, too.
-kate
I think it will just take some time and patience. Don't force her to interact with you - her feeling safe is important. As much as possible, do things on her terms. Try to be calm around her, sit quietly in the room to her, talk gently to her ... pet her when she allows you to, but try to gauge when "enough is enough" for her, and then leave her alone. Stressful environments can exacerbate shyness, so if things are quiet around the house and if she has hiding places to escape to; this will help her feel safe. I'm willing to bet that she'll come around soon enough! It's only been a few days, and she's still getting used to her environment.
In the end, you may have to accept that she'll be less affectionate than her brother - and that's okay, too.
-kate
Re: Unaffectionate Kitty
Thank you for taking in these 2 kitties from the shelter. Sounds loike there is alot of love in your family to give these 2 little ones.
I agree with everything Kate has said in her post. In addition, you may want to try engaging her in play using a shoe lace or buying a toy with a feather on a string. These types of toys provide some movement (which cats are typically fascinate with), provides some distance between you and the kitty and allows the kitty to come to you on her own terms. Kitties typically love those mice toys too...the little furry ones...which you can also hang on a string. Her brother may enjoy this too and hopefully teach her a thing or two.
As long as a medical condition is not present, hopefully time and patience will bring this kitty personality to the surface.
Best of luck to you. Please keep us updated and let us know if you have any questions.
I agree with everything Kate has said in her post. In addition, you may want to try engaging her in play using a shoe lace or buying a toy with a feather on a string. These types of toys provide some movement (which cats are typically fascinate with), provides some distance between you and the kitty and allows the kitty to come to you on her own terms. Kitties typically love those mice toys too...the little furry ones...which you can also hang on a string. Her brother may enjoy this too and hopefully teach her a thing or two.
As long as a medical condition is not present, hopefully time and patience will bring this kitty personality to the surface.
Best of luck to you. Please keep us updated and let us know if you have any questions.
Lisa, Angel Smokey and little Caz
Re: Unaffectionate Kitty
Sounds just like how bobbie was when we first got her. She was very quiet, and hated to be picked up.
So of course we stopped picking her up. I agree with the advice you've already been given on playing with her more using toys. It definetly drew bobbie out of her shell. The other thing is to make sure she gets as much attention as the boy kitten does. That way she won't feel left out.
I saw an interesting programme on the discovery channel about how some animals have low confidence levels, and that can lead to them being withdrawn and quiet. Low confidence, can be remedied with adquate play time, and praise and love and affection.
Just like us....
So of course we stopped picking her up. I agree with the advice you've already been given on playing with her more using toys. It definetly drew bobbie out of her shell. The other thing is to make sure she gets as much attention as the boy kitten does. That way she won't feel left out.
I saw an interesting programme on the discovery channel about how some animals have low confidence levels, and that can lead to them being withdrawn and quiet. Low confidence, can be remedied with adquate play time, and praise and love and affection.
Just like us....
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Denise29
Re: Unaffectionate Kitty
Hi there,
Generally, males cats are friendlier than female cats. This of course is not the standard, but from what I have heard and experienced, it is true.
I know how it feels to give all your love to a cat only to be treated with indifference!
I have a female persian girl, whom I love dearly. She is a nice girl, and sleeps with me at night, but she has yet to jump on my lap! I love lap cats and really go out of my way to spoil her. She allows me to hold her and pet her, but she is very independent.
We are getting a male persian next Saturday
and we are so excited! We are beginning a breeding program and are thrilled with our new addition. Anyway, sorry to ramble...my hope is that our new boy will be a cuddle bug and a lap cat. I love my girl how she is but I only wish she would be a bit more affectionate.
Just know that it isn't something you have done. Some cats are friendlier than others.
Hugs,
Denise
Generally, males cats are friendlier than female cats. This of course is not the standard, but from what I have heard and experienced, it is true.
I know how it feels to give all your love to a cat only to be treated with indifference!
I have a female persian girl, whom I love dearly. She is a nice girl, and sleeps with me at night, but she has yet to jump on my lap! I love lap cats and really go out of my way to spoil her. She allows me to hold her and pet her, but she is very independent.We are getting a male persian next Saturday
and we are so excited! We are beginning a breeding program and are thrilled with our new addition. Anyway, sorry to ramble...my hope is that our new boy will be a cuddle bug and a lap cat. I love my girl how she is but I only wish she would be a bit more affectionate.Just know that it isn't something you have done. Some cats are friendlier than others.
Hugs,
Denise